crackpot's pooh

nervous..

2011-10-05T01:32:00.001-07:00

i feel so freak out now..at the same time so happy..but im so scared if things goes wrong..i start feel so panic if i just cant make it..so worried if i dunt hv time..yet i cant wait anymore..omg i cant believe all this cross in my mind for god sake..hahahah wt is all about?let wait and see..

Demi masa..

2011-10-02T23:59:00.000-07:00

tajuk entry yg sukar utk d stop2 atau d laju kan juga..terlalu bnyk yg berkaitan dengan masa ug sukar utk d katakan.terasa masa berlalu dengan pantas sekali..emm 400km/hr mcm kelajuan mas wing dari kk-sandkn :) or event cant catch at all how fast time fly and goes.so rasa nya masa sudah memanggil2..and baru di sedari bahawa bila kita tidak mencari and tidak menjangka langsung ia dtg mcm mimpi and ia d rancang seolah2 sudah yakin..walau apa pun saya yakin akan ketentuan ini..biar lah kita berubah utk menjadi yg lagi baik.insyallh..doakan lah segala yg terbaik utk saya and kamu semua.

p/s : terharu hari ne dpt jemputan kad kawin my best groupmate bck in russia ..tidak d sangka2...hard copy..and its so touching..congratz in advance and happy for u my dear friend razis :)

what is this?

2011-10-01T06:04:00.000-07:00

i tot i was so strong enough and was tooooooo toooooo into myself and yes2 just myself.now it changed and totally changed.it feel good but at the same time feel so scared.but this time im so sure wt it..throw away all the fear before..but yet the distance still the issue..aiseh nothing can be easy i guess..i hope i can bare with it and be ok all the time : ) insyallh..

lets be happy everyone :)

on the air..

2011-09-28T06:38:00.000-07:00

nothing much to upadate..been bz recently since last 16th sept after attending medical camp at kg mentawago, kinabatangan..last sunday went to sukau,kinabatangan for sunday escape with my friends in crime..not much words can be describe but im just soooooooo happpy :)

night river cruise -kinabatangan river

shift system begin

2011-09-07T02:52:00.000-07:00

i just officially bck to work last night,begin my duty with night duty ( 10pm till 12pm next day )..its begin with super good impression for myself as i had grade 4 bedsore..alhamdullilah.well its sound shitz on the next day morning for morning round as i begin to stuck rEADing case notes..well there is pro and cons for shift system as we wont be able to follow up patient condition. we will get assigned to diff ward and diff cubicle probably.so will c different patient during ech shift. how can posibally i'll be able to read all case notes ech time attending " new patient".best part as my department implementing 3 shift compare to other dept tht will only implementing 2 shift ( 6am till 4pm and 3pm till 12pm next day ) it sound suckss..it dosent much different to normal working hours.
best part is when i can roamming around after nite shift..for instant example..i had bunch of time just to roaming around looking for tv which end up bought a new hd tv..well im satisfied with it..yeah can enjoy more at home~~

post raya cuti

2011-09-05T11:10:00.000-07:00

cuti raya aprox around 10days seems not enough and too short.not enough to heal few scar and to calm wt ever yg ribut.well at least i can felt ths raya so meaningful as my family gathered peacefully and few thgs tht cnt even b explained by words.
currently im stranded at kkia as my flight bck to sndkn delayed about 1hour 15 mint frm actual schedual.
hati ne memang berat utk balik,terlalu bnyk benda yg tidak pandai2 selesai.kekadang terasa tdk tertanggung.terasa benar berat nya setiap saat itu.terlalu bnyk anasir dan khurafat d luar sana itu.ya allah berikan lah aku ketenangan dlm kesusahan ini.perkenankan lah doa hamba mu ini.
sakit yg tidk dpt d gambarkan ini kekadang menjdkan aku memilih utk berdiam kerna tidak tertahan rasanya.
aku masih bersyukur memiliki seorang wanita bernama ibu yg masih ada d sisi dan memahami kesukaran idup ini.
mahu atau tidak,aku masih percaya i'll get bck my life.im not scared to b ths way and to remain ths way..amin.

bantu lah

2011-08-24T07:44:00.000-07:00

membantulah insan2 yg memerlukan..kerana tangan yg memberi itu lagi baik yg memberi.tapi jangan lah hanya memberi dan membantu d bulan ramdhan ne..contohnya banyak yg mengambil kesempatan menjamu atau memberi bantuan kepada anak2 yatim dan anak miskin d bulan puasa..berebut2 nak bagi derma sana sini..entah2 budak2 yg menerima pun dok jenguh p kenduri or function sana sini..murah rezeki itu bagus..tapi lagi bagus jika rezeki mereka juga sentiasa ada sepanjang tahun..sebagai contoh hari ne di rancangan bersama mu DI tv 3 ..bertapa suci nya pengorbanan mereka membesarkan anaka2 yatim dan miskin itu..hanya berteduh di suaru lama yg d ubah suai tapi masih uzur di sana sini..mari lah bersama2 menghulurkan bantuan..tidak banyak sedikit pun juga memadai..memberi bukan pada nilai tapi pada keikhlasan. bantu lah mereka ini Rumah nur kasih taping.
banyak lagi rumah anak yatim sedemikian d malaysia ne..doakan lah mereka semua di rumah kan rezeki dan berjaya jadi manusia yg berguna.amin.

bagi yg belum mebayar zakat..jgn lupa..( well mine for sure paid by my dad lah kan..)
saya berdoa semoga kita semua di berkati..amin

jejak rasul di hati ku

2011-08-23T04:05:00.000-07:00

what i can say is..i really2 fall in love with this Jejak rasul program..u might watch it at TV 3 Jejak rasul is a series that bring us around the world to discover about Islam.History of Islam as well as latest Islam people around the world..we speak different language around this world but we share one language In Islam, Arab.

for this year Russia the chosen one for Jejak Rasul..Subahanallah i feel so amaze, i feel so touch for it.how difficult it was for them to practice Islam yet they are so dedicated just for Allah S.W.T..make me wonder why its look so hard for us here in Malaysia to practice it purely while we are living in Muslim country.im not pointing it to anyone else out there as I my self still Jahil to be real Muslimah....Insyaalh ada lah Hidayah itu untuk saya ..Amin..i hope someday i'll be the one.

monday yg bermula dgn masam

2011-08-22T07:49:00.000-07:00

hati saya amat panas d pagi isnin..yes i m sure most of us dislike monday the most..but actuatlly i tried to like it..as i woke up kinda on time..event i dunt have much patient to review but i wanna ensure this apo very2 optimize condition before operation.this apo memang sudah tua lah..but deeply and silently there is kinda like " revenge" with this apo lah..firstly i was feel so "puas ate " bila family member apo ini setuju utk operation..so so so saya bersemangat utk dia stable utk operation..yeeehaaa...
tapi pagi2 dengan review nyer yg itu dan ini..masih boleh tahan..yg tak tahan bila2 tup2 dpt tau im the one supposed to enter operation theater while the other partner out of no way EL pulak!!WTF..so so my boss will be so pissed off thn..my hati confrm sudah panas and membara time tu..hell no..kepanasan ate tula.nasib baik ada yg cover first case..maka selain dari pada mau apo itu stable saya juga tidak peduli apa pun yg akan jd lepas tu..coz apa2 pun saya juga yg incharge icu kan.well!!
kepanasan ate saya akan mendorong saya sama ada jd pendiam atau bising sana sini..well di ot i choose to b silent..wah rupa2nya perasan juga mereka yg lain bertapa saya masam saja..berabis lah org2 ot kan.. :)
ckp pasal apo itu...bila saya semangat tunggu case dia..time tu lah kan resut BUSE tak best sgt!!hell no!!! thn ok lagi..MO GA boleh bawa bincang2..mcm ok jer tu..yg tak best dah call apo ne buat hal pulak!!sitzz lah..
so bila saya naik ke ward saya mau family dia tau bahawa bawa pulang ur apo ne lagi bgs lah wei..
apo2...
kerja2..
mcm2 kerenah!!!

errrrrr...

lambaian pelangi

2011-08-21T08:25:00.000-07:00

di tgh hari ahad yg tak se indah mana ne pun,balik kerja duduk rumah layan tv.dari tv 3,astro ria,prima,oasis and etc2..terlayan juga tv astro prima kalau ndak sliap cerita "lambayan pelangi"..movie indonesia yg amat bermutu.yg amat tulus dlm menunjukkan keadaan sebenar segelintir penduduk miskin yg kebanyakan anak2 tercicir pendidikan....yg mana ada institusi pendidikan utk anak miskin..air mata juga free2 menitis.sayu nya lah kan hati ne..ckp pun tak guna,tengok dulu baru tau.tak tau lah bila mungkin boleh ulang dari awal movie ne..

hdok

2011-08-19T08:13:00.000-07:00

hdok : hospital duchess of kent where i been posted as house officer for almost 10months now.as far i can remember it was begin with full of fear and stress.however im bless to be here with wonderful people around here.today we were talking about ho who end up quit as ho..not geeting transfer to other hosp but end the carrier for good.really for good??its not sumthing new to hear about,but yet i believe if its happening here it all about the ho itself.well its ok!!
its make me think more about myself.how if i'll really need a break..its all becoz of me myself.thinking of shift system with only 13 ho in my current dept...will i have courage to do so??bt hw abt my matter than??esshhh..life is gettin tougher as im gettin younger ..ahaakkzz

Mobile Blogging from here.

plan

2011-08-18T03:58:00.000-07:00

im sure everyone have their own plan and aim in this life..so do i..event though im not so sure either things that im planning for would be the best for me or it just not more than " angan2" .. aim to do mrcog which yet im failed to read or study ..funny!!damn lazy! planning to run away again either for futher study or myb at least for somtimes sumwhere to do other things or just cont my medical field as how it is..so that mean i need more hard cash for it..do there is anythg out there tht i can invest or do to earn more $$ for now??

too much things to do with little $$,litte energy..courage itself not enough for all those " angan2" . boleh tak saya jadi lebih bertuah??emmm yezza..here a moment when i wish timewould fly faster than anything...

suci kan lah hati ini dah permudahkan lah perjalanan ini

Deal @ nuffnag

2011-08-18T03:47:00.000-07:00

clik click here DeaL...Some of u might looking for gorgeous kaftan..there is more2 deal u can get there..dont forget to click more on my nuffnang..

so how did u deal with ur day today?i hope everyone out there keep on smile and having wonderful day with wonderful people around.

nothing much to share today other than to confess that im counting days and looking forward for "raya " break..at the same time i keep on telling my self to be just fine and stay clam to tru this wild and un real life..

suka atau takdir

2011-08-17T14:12:00.000-07:00

ada kah saya suka sesuatu yg sukar yg susah atau pub itu takdir yg memang sudah tertulis buat diri ini??
menyalahkab takdir kah? tidak juga.cuma kecewa kerana terasa sgt kesukaran perjalan hidup ne.berusaha tapi masa nya blm tiba.
saya berdoa semoga saya juga akan jd lagi tabah.saya rindukan mama saya yg sentiasa memahami kesukaran ini.saya juga berasa bertuah wlpn idup personal saya amat sukar utk d gambarkan!!bertuah kerana saya masih ada mama yg sygkan saya.saya ada pendengar yg baik.
saya redha seandainya saya memerlukn cuti rehat yg panjang..saya juga tahu masa ada lah segala2nya..
saya tidak suka tapi terpaksa akur.
semoga saya d berkati sentiasa.amin

khurafat

2011-08-16T08:18:00.000-07:00

)

did u guys out there watched this movie " KHURAFAT" ??before this the only reason i wanted to watch this movie coz of shamsul..opss actually coz of my friend anwar who is shamsul's cousion..as he involved direct and indirectly for ths movie and this song..yet i missed to watch this movie at cinema!!oh no..y ahh?coz im in sandakan who did not show this movie..WTH ya..so sad..again i miss this movie even i was in kk by the time..end up i jst bough the original dvd..ok lah..well yes i can say i like the movie..its really show real life and things tht happening around us.at the same time im sure there must be more interesting part tht been cut..well its stil okey..and now im watching khurafat series brought by tv3..again i would say that i like it too :)

i alwz hope i could some day represent a real muslim..opss oleh itu jgn lupa tengok jejak rasul di tv 3 setaip hari 630pm..itu juga menyentuh hati saya...selama 6 thn saya d russia before ne tetapi tidak berkesempatan untuk bersama2 russian muslim..myb kerna lokasi saya bukan d area yg bnyk muslim..btw saya bangga dengan muslim d russia :)

semoga kita semua di berkati amin :)

kayangan

2011-08-16T00:33:00.000-07:00

di tengah2 hari bulan puasa..sempat tengok astro ria...kira movie tajuk " kayangan" ..ada faizura berlakon and entah siap lah lagi yg lain2 tu..cerita ala2 org biasa and kerabat2 raja..emm partially mcm cerita karut..well boleh menyentuh hati sikit lah..wah2...tak sampai tahap emo..

emo secara diam ada lah perkara biasa lah juga..cuma org kata wah so strong lah u ..wah strong muscle kah?myb lah kan..muscle d jantung ne mcm sudah partially rosak gitu..if org kata saya tabah..org juga akan kata saya nampak cool and baik2 saja..ada juga yg akan tak percaya apa yg saya lalui...diri sendiri pun tak percaya okey..ada masa nya rasa sgt penat...ada masa mcm nak erase partially memory ne..

tak sabar rasa nya nak fast foward masa..saja2...tapi tak mau jd tua lah kan for sure..fast foward nak tau lah kan after this either i'll remain in medical field, able to go for futher study..where i'll be..wah berbungga nya hati...menghargai masa yg d lalui skrg...tapi lagi happy kalau saya tahu saya lagi berjaya dari hari..dan saya ah the best :) amin..amin..saya yakin hidup itu adil..

perasaan

2011-08-14T01:49:00.000-07:00

bila perasaan mixed ..ia akan jd sgt tidak best..sama ada ini kerana hormon yg inbalance atau memang kerna hati yg ndak best.perasaan tension..perasaan seperti ingin swing tangan ne ke muka org yg berkenaan..perasaatn yg sgt sukar utk d gambarkan..menjadikan hari pagi ahad yg suram..jd mls utk berckp..jadikan aku rindu rumah..rindu my mom..dia lah insan yg memahami perasaan ini..terasa benar mau lari and lari dari routine hidup yg bosan ne..tp mahu jjadi apa kah aku?buat seketika ini menahan2 rasa tuk tidak jd manusia yg bodoh..utk tidak jd seperti most of the bitch out there..sukar memujuk diri sendiri..tertekan seperti emm seperti berada d bawah/ d atas paras tekanan bumi ( ???) sehingga tidak mampu utk berfikir apa sebenarnya yg di cari d hidup ini..kekayaan?kebahagiaan?kesederhanaan?kejayaan tahap dewa?mana satu??setiap inig membawa erti and perjalanan yg berbeza...kerna itu ndak mampu nya lah aku membuat perhitungan..benci nya lah!!utk org2 yg memprovoke perasaan yg ndak best ne im believe u will get pay cash by God asap..

11th ramadhan

2011-08-10T22:54:00.000-07:00

Kelebihan Solat Tarawih Malam Kesebelas

Ia meninggal dunia di dalam keadaan bersih dari dosa seperti baru dilahirkan

if u commence tarawikh tonight on th 11h ramadhan insyaalh some day when u died you will be as just like a newborn baby :) am

dear friends as reminder for me myself and everyone out there, its an opportunity to take the advantages for ibadah during ths holy month :) still somtimes i m still acting so unfaithful when ever there is some annoying things happening to me..masyaalh...sometimes i still feel its seems like so unfair for me to go thru this kind of life..well well again muhasabah diri itu ada perlu..look out there, and try to compare how luxury and how lucky we are to be here in malaysia other than palastin and 3rd world country who are struggling for living. lets pray for them..doa for every muslim in ths world.amin..

so lets dunt be unfaithful person :)
on top of it pls2 pls clink on my nuffnag adv.thnx

10th ramadhan

2011-08-09T23:04:00.000-07:00

still having on and off stomach cramp.nasib apa lah d bulan2 puasa nei lah pulak kan mcm ne..sahur for today just a glass of water and few pieces of thamar.alhamdullilah.routine begin as usual ..drive to hospital and thinking of where to park..:( dislike it. well today i bought another jampi serapah tht i hope could erase my eye bag..CUCUMBER EYE PADS

lets give it a try and waste another $$..so another thing that im looking for is sumthing that can make me grow more matured and erased away all my tears..as well can show my path way..either i should remain here or i should as soon as possible go as far as i can either to do sumthing else or futher my study..im not scared to even start my life as below than ordinary level. :)

my entry kinda mixed up few things as my emotion kinda mixed and still full with one word " WHY " .i wonder and i hope this holy month could make me more clam and find all the answers for ths life :) amin

WHY

2011-08-08T22:29:00.000-07:00

there is so many question if sentences begin with word WHY.coz those sentences will end with question mark " ?".so there is a task to fine an answer for it.pheeewww..why does it matter ??coz today it just an extraordinary usually after sahur .( after drank any hot drink) i'll choose to continue my dream, eventho usually i'll end up wake up due to stomach ache and yezza i'll feel its seems like i need to go toilet..but today its just so so severe..mcm diarrhea mcm juga mixed with " sengugut " sympt before getting period.which its very rare happen to me.decided not to go work as it could change my mood and as well so not comfortable..just msg my friend, while other msg for my Mo remain pending..aiseh tak tersend pulak.back to story..im so sad again my period pending ..not so bad yet lah still regular but why lah lari calculation ne?ayaaaa!!stress kah aku?rasa nya tak juga?sebab puasa kah?merepek pulak..opss ya myb coz my diet aka my timing for meal jer yg berubah kan..so again question arise.bgs juga if can fasting for the whole ramadhan month..but not with this pain..masyaalah..bnyk nya dugaan d bulan puasa ne kan ..i called up my HOD and told him im taking emergency leave..wah nasib tak d marah lah kan :) buat2 charming dulu :) :P another issue pulak..i found out my face so so so dull and my eye bag just gettin worse...so in few years time i'll even gettin worse than current condition..omg.omg..wat is the best thing to do ?? Should i just find other job tht wont require me become zombie??lets think of it .......

ramadhan al mubarak

2011-08-07T22:04:00.000-07:00

eid mubarak to all muslim around the world.how great full we are to be able to celebrate this holy moth that insyallh could bring us more happiness and gratitude toward Allah S.W.T.Amin.
its been awhile kinda abundant my blog..:) bck to story..now im celebrating ramadhan in sandakan for the first time as HO.i tot its gonna be bored and killing my soul deeply..well im such lucky to b in orthopedic dept :)
there is a moment i feel so lonely breaking fast at home alone with my kitty orev..well i think the other ho doing the same too,at least went to bazar with other friends too.i love bazar ramadhan~~ :) just love it..
still able to commence solat terawikh here..thank GOD. :) otherwise nothing much different comparing to my previous ramadhan.. :) as my first year to celebrate raya after get title DR ( yukss ) and tarra i dunt feel excited about baju raya anymore.as no time to event measure my baju raya..hantar jak contoh.kata jahit d labuan kan. shopping kain pun ala kadar..at least i still able to choose by myself.and yes able to belanja my mom baju raya and my other siblings.event tak semewah mana pun..if before ne my mom in advance or my love one will choose for me..now things changed.im survival..fully dependent ..hahah ya kah..bukan upah baju yg berjela2 itu d taja oleh mr M..hahah thank u my dad..of coz dia pun tau anak nya ne nama jak sudah kerja tetap juga ndak kecukupan setelah mati membyr kereta,road tax and damn insurance :)
i just cant wait for my cuti raya ..

holiday mode activated

2011-06-17T04:02:00.000-07:00

yay i'll b on so called long called long leave..just abt a week.not tht long actually.no big event in my mind yet.just fly bck to labuan.( yay bored) but i miss my room.i miss my mom and everyone there..but deeply i dislike sumthing.but lets take it easy..and easy..take a deep breath and just tru it..who know there is sumthg good awaiting for me ya. :P

im blessed for able to complete my posting in O&G dept...opss not yet, tomorw gonna be my finale called..takes it wat ever it is gonna be.EOD called for my finale day aint tht bad.with all annoying admission..

feel dislike to go home and feel dislike to b bck to sandakan as well ..i just like to do nothing..:P

am i been forgotten??

2011-06-12T07:53:00.000-07:00

since few years ago till now sgt lah jarang2 dpt menghadiri majlis2 besar kwn2 sekolah..kwn rapat..terkilan lah kan.i just hope they wont forgetting me..nada2 emo sikit..dari jauh jak lah merasa happy for them..hardly to hear their experience and feeling before and after get married.im wonder wt do they feel when decided to get married..hehhehe coz for me now to start on dating pun big issue..hahahaha ..
well as long as people around me happy its more than enough for me :)

alwz pray for better day tomorrow and on wards :)

terhenti d sini

2011-06-02T03:06:00.000-07:00

Terhenti di sini

opss intro untuk hari ini ada lah lagu d atas itu.lma sudah ndak layan lagu2 melayu apa tah lagi siri2 melayu..antara siri yg buat sendiri kagum ada lah nur kasih yg sekarang d tayangkan as movie but yet beluma show d sandakan..aisehh
sgt suka lagu ne dari siri tv 3 " asmara 2"..itu juga antara rality hidup kan..ok mukadimah habis d sini

sudah sentengah tahun 2011 berlalu..im still remain the same..kerja as kuli batak hosp.masih lagi keliru perjalanan idup..masih lagi stuck d satu point yg amat menyeksa jiwa..jika ada pilihan pun semua itu hanya mcm sesuatu yg tidak pasti or better to say those thgs just made me scared and phobia..too much of past things tht unable to forget and even i my self unsure how to cure those shitz..
i choose to remain the same..i m almost succeed in my own life and dream..so a lil bit of scar deply sumwhere inside still acceptable i guess? wow am i sound like trying hard to convincing myself?poor me!! :P

well be happy no matter how hard it is..

nippon spree around??

2011-05-21T03:58:00.000-07:00

wow nippon looking around to find lucky blogger for make over??wow exciting...hope i'll find rite time to write and to upload pic..6 months ago just rite after graduated and stay at home for good for about 3 months just drove me to make over my own room which i never really border before..that moment i just can believe that i decided to paint my own room..and yes i did that..i still remember how funny it was when i was about to purchase the paint color..hahhaha super2 cool..i almost bought 10liter paint which i think can use to paint 1/3 of my whole house??which basically i just need around 2 liter or even lesser than tht..how easy it was painting my own room..my dad even tough i just make such a joke to paint my own room.hahhaha
check out my old entry i did uploaded few pic after make over :)
well now im in sandakan and sleeping in such bored room again..

well cross my finger tht i can join for this nippon competition..anyone interested too?? lets check it out jst click on my nuffnang ..CLIK2..

my head

2011-05-20T04:02:00.000-07:00

too much things in my head..all are mixing like a mix fruits juice..hahahahhahha.what do i want in this life?perfect life with dull background? happy life but just moderate life style?aisehh...btw im happy with my simple life that im having now..even though sumtimes i get feed up with my routine work dealing with people who sumtimes drive my crazy..every morning aim to finish my round in 1 hour for average patient 5-8 patients..on weekend once covering postnatal yay whole ward is mine..for instant tomorw i'll covering postnatal on weekend..wth..
every moments i just wish to remain calm and smile ~~

im back

2011-05-07T02:15:00.000-07:00

wow..after so long never updated my blog..where were I? too bz with work!!choose to sleep other thn surfing..choose to go out eat and lepaking rather thn surfing..wow..sound nurdy2?..basically it was nice escape..tup tap tup tap without realizing it..its already 6 months im here in sandakan and working as HO.life so different since than..but deeply im still stuck and pray to God to creat better life for me in future.
everyday i hope for a better things in future.my head still messed up with lots of things but i dunt have time to sort it out.life could be so confusing and so so uncertain ..damn!!!
arrrghhhh can in run away???? :P

cold hearted kah aku?

2011-02-17T04:18:00.000-08:00

kenapa kah begitu??perasaan simpati bila lihat pesakit jadi no 2.yg pertama heran..heram mcm mana lah mama nya ne menjaga anak doh!! sakit ate jadi nya..sakit ate bila penat2 habis air liur ne mengajar!! tolong lah mama aku ndak ada anak pun..aku ndak akan lah sampai hati mau kasi biar anak kamu org itu menagis...biarkan kamu balik bila treatment blm habis lagi!!anduh tolong lah!!gila.perangai betul!!sampai satu tahap mcm mau tampar2 mama tu..kasi dia sedar sikit!!sedar yg aku ne manjada anak ko!bukan anak aku sot!!!ckp baik2 ndak faham..ckp nada vol 2 pun ndak faham..lama2 pakai sindir2 jak lah kan..baru org malaysia ne faham..termasuk org2 pilak2 lah kan..stress bodoh!!nasib baik lah almost the end dealing with weired parents d muka bumi ne!!eeeeeeeergg!!

my work made me trun super cold hearted!!sampai kan tahap utk memikirkan diri sendiri pun jatuh ke ..opss still no 1 cuma bab2 personal matter tu sudah buang jauh2 utk sementara..wat im looking forward is..cuti..yes2 cuti..balik labuan via kk...jumpa siblings dulu d kk..esok my bro sampai sandakan..temankan dirve sandkan-kk.auchhh.ndak tau sama ada gembira..or tidak lah kan..main target balik labuan..jumpa kwn..ambik kereta..rehat..manja2 d rumah~~wah..and meghiburkan ate.mencari ketenangan sementara.isnyallh selama nya..

mencari erti kehidupan..

aku bangga dengan diri sendiri walaupun idup ini tidak se sempurna mana pun..

penipuan

2011-02-15T05:37:00.000-08:00

penipuan boleh ter jadi..kepada diri sendiri atau pun kepada org lain juga .hahaha..maka fikir2kan lah ya..jika kamu menipu hari ne ..tidak mustahil esok org tipu kamu fresh2..idup2 gitu..bagai mana pulak yg tipu diri sendir??pikir2 kan lah.sekian lama ini telah menipu diri..tapi jika ia dalah satu2nya pilihan yg ada..bagaimana..esp jika dlm keadaan kebingungan..org berkata teruskan idup ini selagi nyawa d kandung badan dan lupa kan cerita lama jika ia menyakitkan..maka utk melupakan hanya lah dengan menipu diri sehari2..bagaimanakah?jika hari2 terpkasa berkata sendiri..semua ini biasa2 saja..melarikan perhatian kepada benda lain .yg kekadang tidak pasti apa pun.sukar mengambarkan erti kebahagian diri sendiri..selain apa yg terasa kini hanya kasi yg abadi yg tidak pernah luntur pun walau bagai mana jahat,buruk atau teruk mana pun diri ne dari insan yg bergelar ibu dan bapa..kekadang tersedu memikirkan perjalan idup sebegini rupa.bersyukur pada tuhan kerna sekurang2nya cita2 tercapai walaupun sentiasa di beri dugaan yg kekadang tak termampu untuk d lalui..tidak mudah mencari pengertian hidup..tumpang gembira kepada sesiapa yg berjaya mengerti diri sendiri..pengertian idup dan menemui kebahagain itu.sepandai mana pun..sekaya mana pun tidak semestinya kebahagian bisa d ketemui dengan mudah.

kekadang terasa give up for some part in this life..well..i let it go with the flow dan melihat sendiri apa akan terjadi :)

world - nothing is real

amin ya rabbil alamin..

2011-02-08T05:25:00.000-08:00

terlalu banyak dugaan kebelakangan ini..bencana alam ..bekalan air yg terputus d my house area sdh dlm 9hari..sudah pernahp dlm 48jam tidur d hosp..hari2 mandi d hosp..p hops awal2 pagi utk mandi..wah sudah biasa.tp dlm ate tuhan saja yg tau.angkat air ke tingkat 4 cukup rasa mcm mau pengsan sudah.
dengan soul yg ndak terkawal..wah idup tidak indah mana.
dengan menerima tetamu Ho baru dan makcik dengan keadaan darurat mcm ne..sungguh tidak selesa kan..cian tetamu..namum terima ini semua dengan redha..mungkin ada hikmah ya..amin..moga2 doa anuty ne berkat..amin..jauhi lah hati ini dari hasat dengki..jauhi lah ate ini dari perasaan yg tidak sepatutnya..dekati lah hati ini dengan apa yg sepatutnya..mampukah untuk bertahan..i need home..not house..i need my mom..i need to share things with her..my mom is a healer for me..i cant wait to be at home ..i'll b bck to labuan ths coming 20th feb.. :)

after somtimes

2011-02-06T05:45:00.000-08:00

i realize so hard to move on..i feel so tired when ever i fail to do it..i tired of crying..i wanna be selfish..wait and c..i can do and i can ensure this world would treat me fair and better..for no matter wt reason and wat ever its takes.

life should be on my side mo matter what!

hujan

2011-01-29T03:19:00.000-08:00

hujan saja d sandakan ne..sugguh make me restless.semlm on call dengan hujan dan guruh nya.nasib lah partner on call bgs2 saja..went out for dinner.mo dont care where i sleep..coz sesungguhnya saya takut lah mau tidur d nicu mo on call room.lagi2 hujan ne..saya mengalami " hujan phobia" apa tah lagi " thunder" dui nya..it can make me stay awake other thn zzz.gila.confrm aku gila if cuaca mcm ne jer memangjang.sampa thap banjir sudah ne sandakan.semlm bgn 4.30 utk standy peads call pun emm pas tu ndak dpt tidur berjln2 p tengok keadaan banjir hasil tijauan dari tingkat 6 peads...thn sambung tido jap..bgn jam 6.thn few mints later again get call for ot peads stand by.ok thnx ppl for calling me up..at least tido dari jam 11pm..emm and thank god no one required admission frm my hand ~ya ya..
td mau balik rumah pun susah..kena patah balik p alternative road..yg mana almost everywhr sudah jam nw..jln alternative tu pun mau retak2 sudah..andui nya sandkan..mcm mana bah ne..
hujan lah d tempat lain lagi..

begin to hates to be at home

2011-01-26T03:35:00.000-08:00

i hates working hour..i hates to be on call..i hates everytime im at home after working..i just cant bare with all ths situation.kinda tired.tired i cant appreciate things..its so hurting when u are actually counting on urself to change things.i dunt want to have bipolar personality.i wanna be come like other ppl..who happy and having normal life.if i have and option to specifically to make tht person understand and feel wat im true even its gonna cost half of my life i would do it.
im so sorry to write ths such stupid boring entry but i jst cant hlp my self.this is the only way to express it out,as i knw nt much ppl reading my bloody blog.i m helpless ..so helpless so so so so helpless.im sick of it..if can cry 24h and let it go for ever...why all bad thgs alwz happen when im having big thgs to do..

bermimpi kah aku?

2011-01-25T03:50:00.000-08:00

bila selalu sgt rasa dlm mimpi..bila selalu sgt rasa tidak pasti dlm idup..hampir 8jam sehari..menjadikan otak saya semakin kurang active.adakah degeneration akan berlaku?apa kah akan terjadi..hampir tidak tahu apa yg di inginkan ..semakin tidak kelihatan..confusion gone but more into blury vision..gampang ini! :) bila org ckp mencari kebahagian..kebahagian bagai mana kah?jika org ckp pasal demand..wah how lah mau demand if supply pun tiada..oh stock bukan lah mau hbs sudah..cuma mcm more into tidak ada selera lah org bilang..skrg rasa rasa manis2 masam lah..tidak tahu lah apa yg sebenarnya lagi penting dlm idup ne..aiseehh betul kata sesetengah org tu..sudah jadi semakin bodoh bila bnyk pulak pikir benda lain~~
semlam semasa on call juga lah perasaan takut udah ilang bila memikirkan bertapa bestnya tidur itu..lagi2 bila kita tak tahu apa akan jd 5 mints dari sekarang ..mungkin saja phone akan berbunyi..mungkin juga ada mcm2 akn jd!!aku benci pada mu hp~~ :)

tiada apa yg pasti selain dari pagi2 bngn p kerja ~~ uwekk!!

routine

2011-01-20T04:52:00.000-08:00

my routine is really killing me~~i begin to wonder and counting days for my Houseman ship to end while in reality it just my first posting out of 6. i brain begin to dysfunction for working 7 days a week.not because of overloading in using my brain or neuron but more causes by hypoxic @ early waking up every morning and tension every time mate up with "international "patient with beyond of my language barrier or somtimes due to their advance fck history taking..oh i feed up!!stress begin when ever i think of CME. ayoo..begin to stress up when i know tht tomorrow i'll oncall and covering neonates.gosh..please give more strength for tomorrow. my headache and my urti is still there~~

i wonder and so jelous for those who working free lance or doing their own bussiness ..or who ever working but yet still able to settle their other things outside without have to feel stress or pressure when ever out from working compound. i cant wait for my holiday ~~i need a long break..

futsal spree..

2011-01-16T05:12:00.000-08:00

i love futsal~~`i feel happy when ever i play futsal except if its for training purpose such for a big competition...when ever play just for fun thn i could make my mood on the most favorable base line even if im hvg flu..still daring to play..plus playing with friends tht u used to play before..now most of us are spreading around in sabah..so so we have a reason to meet up for futsal..:))

all my tension gone away for sometimes. but still there is sumthg still crossing my mind sumwhere ..

we had an ice cream after futsal and went for dinner as well.auchhhhh we gain more calories indeed.. :))

i love my call

2011-01-15T21:55:00.000-08:00

love call?it so much different ah kali from real call..phone call..urgent call but its on call..hahahah since workin im begin to hates when phone ringging..i hates answering sms..and yes i hate on call esp on weekend when i feel so lonely..bodoh kan!hahah but ths weekend my sweet friend was there till peak season begin.i feel bit relieve.thn continue my work alone and deal with non stop admission till 12pm..till Even my MO clerking one case..when there is a moment i'll tend to do my own plan for management and yes of coz must be appreciated so much :)
yet i was slept well last nite..thank god..and now i wanna sleep before going for futsal ths evening..kasut futsal tertinggal d labuan masih lah..terlupa pulak mau bawa sini before..well well well let me sleep now before my head become psychosis :)

tuesday

2011-01-11T00:40:00.000-08:00

di tengah malam2 lagi terasa ada aura yg esok mcm tidak sehat..ahh aku bukan jenis yg mau p emergency dept..bukan urgent..so esok lets c..yes esok juga tidak larat ya..terlalu besar stenosis d otak ne rasanya..hates ths..sure esok masuk kerja dengan hati yg membara2 kalau masih mcm ne..bed rest lah aku.dengan hrpn ndak lah EL aku ne d tolak dari cuti ..pls2..kalau esok jumpa patient2 yg bikin panas confrm bertambah lah sakit otak aku ne!mau muntah bile sudah ne skrg..coz ate pun mcm ada bengkak2 and sakit2..uwah..ndak perlu U/S boleh rasa ne!! opss..well bed rest d rumah pun bikin gila~~aaarrghhh i want ice cream for today..who would be kind to buy me an ice cream?( :P)
ndak sangka end up ter miss juga p kerja kan..so mean im not tht schema..:)) can my day become more brighter soon.. :) mcm kena lampu stadium.. :))

monday

2011-01-10T03:10:00.000-08:00

im kinda depressed today..unable to smooth my work as how it supposedly.myb coz i ifeel rushing to run there and ther.well its dosent matter...cz yet im survived.but wat made me sad today is my sling bag the white one rosak pulak..putus gara2 tersangkut sumwhere while running towards my patient..damn!!i get emo for awhile..i get stuck there...arrgghhhh!! i never fight with lab people but yes today!!they are too much!!hw dare they pending my patient result!so key point here ..bag sudah putus deh..d mana mau cari ganti oh d sini ne!!arrrhhhhggg..another big ?...

hari2 bila balik rumah susah betul mau kasi senang ate!!i knw life would treating me this way..for dont knw how long it could be..for some reason im happy to be at hosp..surround with friends and patient..to be bz..to get tired and yes thn can get emo sendiri2.hahahahha

well..... life arent tht bad.

can i survive?

2011-01-08T22:02:00.000-08:00

im trying hard to be fine..to be strong.i hates when i have space and time for myself.at the same times i hates to work on weekend..but when im alone..my sorrow come back.too much free time to think and recall my past.how i miss lots things..hw much things tht happened beyond my control.hw much pain been tru..i tot i alrdy able to delete all of it and buried them wit year 2010.But i just cant.perhaps myb i wasnt even had time before to thnk abt year 2011.a lots things tht i am unsure abot in this life now..i begin to feel bored~~i begin to feel super bored with routine of my life now.i begin to miss winter.spring. and autum and i miss to wear boots.i begin ths life now by making more and more friends..till nw i still feel like dreaming..i cant accepeat the fact that im not heal yet.why dont just sedate me? let me sleep for sumtimes. if there is an option to transform to be sumone else.i would like to choose to do so ..

i love my job..( ???? )

i feel it

2011-01-07T04:54:00.000-08:00

i feel sumthing wrong with me..i cant even think..i cant write..i cant express it out..im totally crack..btw my parents wedding anniversary just a round the corner..18th jan.but i cant make it to be around them nor to celebrate them..but im happy coz my brother will make it happen on behalf of me..i mean mcm kasi beli present.and ya perhaps arranging dinner .. :) yet im still thinking wat else to do :) i miss my mom~~uhuhuhuhu..cepat lah dtg sandakan..cook for me :P

im treasure my life

hari yg indah

2011-01-06T03:32:00.000-08:00

bgn lambat..yet kerja sempat buat lah..again selalu tertidur dengan keadaan yg mcm bukan tidur..jadi tension okey!!again fail to read properly my NRP last nite..damn it!!matai na aku...ok bulan ne akan kurang berjoly2..kena straight my head now..bnyk nya kerja blm siap ..sitzz ehh..mula2 jak rajin thn pandai mls pulak..hidup semakin tension lah..dengan kedatangan specialist baru ne paeds menajadi haru biru sikit..tp biarlah..apa pun jd lah ..

hari ne hari raji rafhana ..wah 1 thn sudah dia..baby yg sgt comel..survival so far.tak mau cerita bnyk..hari ne lah juga dia balik rumah after few months admitted..sgt2 happy nak celebrate dia..so ain and i plan the birthday surprise for her..simple jak beli cake ..yg susahnya mau mengumpul budak2 ho lain and Mo..well yet managed to do so..even simple and short coz ada CME lagi kah hari ne.i can see how happy and shinning her face today..wah happy betul tu..my other MO bough toys for her..ala2..lagi lah happy dia .:) im happy too!!opss ndak lupa we celebrating belated birthday Dr kwan juga..yes she getting younger year by year :)

conclusion im happy..even i knw i still got few pending work at Thalessemia center..gosh!! Bos Mo..pls my head pusing2 sudah trace result :P

im happy with my simple life :)

for real today is 01/01/11

2010-12-31T19:30:00.000-08:00

dont ask hw i was celebrating my New year eve..coz i ws sumwhere on level 6 heaven HDOK..well no tension.not even a single feeling of pressure..( liar) ..there were moment when i feel pressure esp covering few cases tht required hight concern..and etc..but yes i was free pressure during my night call..alhamdullilah.i gain my confident level..syukur..moga2 bertambah2 lah pas ne :)
if u ask me abt my ny year wish and target or apa2 lah..i can say i dont have one yet..coz i dunt even hv time to thk of it..i just hope i can be better and become sumone more responsible for myself and my family.think less abt nonsense things..live this life to the fullest..( mcm ndak ngam jak bunyinya ne.)
what i want now is..just my car..to cheer me up..hw i miss it!!! :(

happy new eveyone..and sorry for those who sms me but i wasnt reply yet..but i do appreciate those wishes.. :) love

xoxo

post call feeling

2010-12-27T07:57:00.000-08:00

semlm on call..on call on sunday memang lah tidak di sukai ramai,coz dari half day lagi kwn2 lain sudah balik dan merancang mcm2 benda yg best while saya stuck d ward dan tunggu pelanggan..opsss ini bukan sesuatu yg d tungu2.hahhaha..emm admission pas jam 2pm agak memberangsangkan..sehingga saya berdoa tolonglah mlm ne ok2 jer..siang hari d terima akal..if mlm2 tu dah hmpir2 jadi zombie tu tolong lah bagi saya zzzz..makanya jam 5pm plus saya kuar p membeli shu shi to cool down my aura..hahhahaa..ckp sajalah geng on call saya geng shu shi. :P conclusion on call wasnt tht bad..but myb my 2nd on call partner agak stress bgn awal pg ada admission..tidur sedikit terganggu dengan phone call yg reporting entah apa2..eeeer..sehingga rasanya semua itu hanya mimpi..luckily i didnt made any mistake while assuming all the report and etc just as my dream...bgn pagi2 terus call NICU reconfrm abt the last nite call..gosh nasib baik lah baby tak grunting and ok2 saja.. :)
well actually ini bukan lah point nyer..post call nyer lah kan..
1st day di dcc..and yes ok aja...cuma super2 post call..after 5pm..fikiran mula jd sot2..ala2 mau jadi bodoh sudah.i cant concentrate doing my thgs tht im supposed to do..i cant consult myself that im fine..i cant force to tell myself that im OK..started to feel like Shortness of breath every time thinking of all deeply things that i kept.at this moment i just wish what happened today just another episode of dream @ another level of dream..aisehhh

merry x-mas and happy birthday mom

2010-12-24T23:59:00.000-08:00

no holiday on big day just a normal thing.almost forgetting any festive also seems normal things since working.working 7days a week just made me just thing of weekdays and weekend..tht it.on top of it tomorw my on call day..so so so kerja sorang2 ler aprox dari jam 11am..and of coz continue working the next day up to 5pm.so who on earth complaning tired of working for 5days just so so so unbelievable..in 4 months only entitle for 8days oliday another amazing things to be as an Ho. :) eeeee...be happy!!

well nothing much happening today But i just miss to celebrate my mom birthday today ..managed to call her today..semoga panjang umur dan sehat selalu :) i really miss her..well mom will get a present for her for sure :)

planing to get more sleep today as preparation for on call tomorrow :)

cheers

cheering up

2010-12-24T08:14:00.000-08:00

what is wrong with ths world when people begin to wonder why am i single to mingle?no one can believe.eeeeerr..coz Dr are too bz to fine one.i hates Drs.so put them aside.they wont be able catch my eyes..auchhhh cakap besar yer aku?? :)
well to be honest im giving space and time for my self. i cant decide anything yet for now, to be fair to my self and be selfish or even it might hurt others are my rules now.i need time.i need to prove to my self that i can reach my target of life.i want to do sumthg extra ordinary even if it might cost me a failure to thrive..:P sekali lagi berasa sgt bongkak.well pray hard and do hard.insyallh Tuhan itu maha adil. we wont get everything in this life.so nw i choose sumthg tht benefit myself. cheers..

life is easy

sekadar renungan

2010-12-19T06:06:00.000-08:00

im not stress, just kinda hypoxic ~~~ sleepy head again!! gosh..pls2 be rajin..bunch of thgs to read..enjoy reading and study as much i enjoy snorkeling..yay~~
there so much things tht put aside rite now.priority in my life now kinda change.some times im become so confuse when its related to my personal matter, t never happened before.But now it worsening and severe.there is a moment where i want to run and not be myself.i just wanna be free.its not so cruel to decide to be alone.its not tht bad if i say that i love my self more than others.its not harm to say i keep sumthing deep inside my heart.it not so selfish if i choose to take much time just for myself. it fair enough to stay on a safe side.

my happiness depends on me after God

im getting older n darker :(

2010-12-18T22:10:00.000-08:00

today i realize how ugly am i now..shitty my skin getting darker nw but i keep on telling my self its okey at least i had enjoyed my trip.but nw its all matter of time for my skin to be bck to normal.but hw if it remain darker?gooshh!! Im having eye bag nw..aaaaaaaaaargggg!!!so tension.why on earth it could be??who and what to blame on?if last time during my med school it wasnt tht bad.even during xm season.hw can i get my beauty sleep again?if most of the night i fall a sleep rite after lying down on the bed.im not on call. everyday so how it could be the causes for my eye bag?eeerr tension okey on top of it i just begin on call recently n..huhuh..sad2 :((

is it coz i am getting older??pls vasih it away..no...no..i want thgs to be just fine :P

saturday post call

2010-12-18T03:28:00.000-08:00

either i can call it as adaptation or it jst my body having some problems? as today is my post call usually if 2 hours sleep i'll start to get headache on the next day..but actually it wasnt tht bad i had 3 hours sleep last nite :) with wonderful stuff nurse and great mo it just really helping my on call even my post oliday call begin with bolus dosage with new specialist in the house..wooot..wooot..it hard to adjust my body and mind accordingly after holiday.it was begin with sleepy head,yawning and hypoglycemic during morning round..on top of it there is TDS round mean night round in the ward..goshh mau tak mau..kena tau semua kes..ambik ko~~
well i went tru all smoothly..alhamdullilah.
today kinda bz..expected to be able to finish my work before noon..but thgs just not on my side.sabar jer lah..as long as im not sleepy it fair enough :) plus..rajin nyer lagi nak p movie repunzel at 3.15pm..wah semangat..well i like sumthg enjoyable..so i did enjoy banana ice cream,pop corn and the movie..yay!! im enjoying every moment of my life..i pray hard to pass my first posting at paeds.amin

mabul and kapalai island did blast my birthday :)

2010-12-14T06:52:00.000-08:00

opss..more pic will be uploaded soon :)

just intro2 cukup lah tu kan ..

wat i can say is kapali island is superb and awesome place to escape from everything.i feel like in haven.enjoy every single minutes.even tak dpt p sipadan island.but kapalai still world class place for divers as well..snokerlin pun sudah rasa mcm jakun@ terpegun..heheh ini lah lahi divers.ikan nemo..ikan biru2 and etc.semua best..mau pigi lagi :)

emmm since im so tired now..will upload more abt ths trip ya..

thanx to my family for ths lovely trip

enjoy

2010-12-09T02:40:00.000-08:00

i just got booster today..yes yes i get holiday at last.sunday till 16th..since my family will be around..i hope we could go mabul/semporna..yay!!pls2 take me away from my work .

tomorrow i'l oncall..but no pressure at all...wat ever its takes i will be just fine.since its gonna be friday..half day mah saturday..thn thn can enjoy my oliday~great .. :)

i dunt much wish currently other thn i wish my dad will agree to send my car here..or i could get the new car.. :) or paling chikai pun i want an i phone 4 :))

i just love my day today..so relaxing..even able to get small nap.yay.:)and now waiting for my parents, my bro and my cousion wan to arrived sandakan ..

tired

2010-12-07T10:57:00.000-08:00

lots of things im tired of now.i tot i over it.i tot im strong.i tot i can accept evertthing.yet why the hell there is sumthg triggering me and swing my mood away??why am i wake up in the middle of the night and write here?pls i need a sleep.i need my ugly sleep.i tried my very best to cheer myself.i tried hiding everything.i tried my best to be matured in handling thgs..but why its seems nothing is enough..could ths life treating me better..at least away from ths unpleasant feeling.as i alwz think of lateily at least let me dreaming and sleep nicely as a coma patient in icu..keep me feel tht way..i just too tired

life

2010-12-06T22:09:00.000-08:00

we never knw whar will happen next..there for now i let everything go with the flow. if before i was kinda depressed to accept the fact in working in Sandakan and on top of it begin with paeds department handling kinds and baby.after a month i begin to accept thgs the way it is.if people were talking abt hw bad tht paeds could treating me.but i could say i am happy here. i like the working environment even myb there is few thgs slack there and there.but no one perfect and yet i could say it worth if get scolded if u made mistake.all my MO are super cool..can seat,talk,hang out and chilling togther2.:)
i put my sadness aside. i treat my self and my life as fair as i could.i take all ths as a challenge for me.be single not tht bad, just a matter of most of thing i have to decide by my self.but it does not mean we hv to hate or fight ech other. we handling things smoothly as i du.nt knw who and what to blame on. trap in between regarding life matter really feel and sound sucks but i let it go.as im not getting younger year by year..let my self be free again.explore my working life,enjoy it and spend my time as much i want either at hospital or where ever i want. im not ready for commitment and there for thgs are like ths now :)
im happy for thoes who found their happiness and mr right to be with..here i would like to congratz my dear friend maslyn and azry on their big day. semoga berbahagia selalu. i cant forgive myself not to be on her side on her big day..cuti tiada..emmm cis..tht moment lah my on call was.feel so so so sorry :(

cheers

saya doc peads kah?

2010-11-25T07:01:00.000-08:00

memang sukar d percayai..first posting lyn d department peads..memang sound real sucks..btw so far satu bulan..its not tht bad lah kan.cuma i pray hard nothg bad gonna be happened lah kan..amin..i dunt mind learning.:) di sini lah belajar itu lipat lampin..eeer belum pas lagi lah ..sini lah juga terpaksa pandai angkat baby even prem baby.oh..cucuk sana sini tangan baby hampir expert sudah. alah bisa tegal biasa..wah betul kah tu?well well well i can deal with few minor and comment things around here..tidak lah expert lagi sgt .but ibu2 d luar sana kebanyakan kes anak2 yg reffer ke ward yg berkaitan dengan cirit birit dan prob akan jd sukar jika anak2 itu sudah d beri ubat tahan berek oleh clinic luar.kerna ubat itu sgt

tidak bgs utk kanak2.ada yg akan menyebabkan perut kembung..dan sakit yg berpanjangan kerna kuman2 itu stuck d dlm badan dan berlegar2 di situ.so fever juga mungkin akan terjd.or cirit birit akan berlarutan..air garam ada lah yg terbaik.caranya sekurang2 nya 10ml ( satu sudu makan dan d beri sedikit dlm setiap 2-3 mint). memang leceh..tapi itu ada lah untuk memulihkan garam dlm badan untuk menstabilkan garam2 dan sistem penghadaman dlm badan.jika hingga tahap muntah2 @ not tolerating orally at all usually memang required admission.air dan garam dlm badan perlu d gantikan dengan menggunakan IV drip.

causes for diarrhea could be varies .myb really food poisoning..water born, changing of infant formula and all..susu ibu ada lah yg terbaik..:) well entry kali ne saja2 lah unutk mempoyo kan diri :)

tc everyone

am i still dreaming?

2010-11-21T07:27:00.000-08:00

ths morning..damn lazy to wake up..feel like im gonna fall sick...sick of waking up 5.40am aka 6am for 7days a week..work till up to 10pm,ever up to 12am.argghh sick of it.by body just cant bare on it today..gosh...when i look at the window..wow its ranning outside no wonder i feel super damn lazy ya.reach hosp around 715am.lucky me not much to update.and at nursery the morning round not as early as t chidlren ward.btw till today i cant imagine actually im working now and wake up early every single day.wt a life.
sumtimes minor distruction either internally or externally could change my mood.but so far im able to adjust and b cool most of the time.
most of the night i just sleep and colapse..hahaha tidur mati.but sumtimes sumthg stress me up before sleep and just buried all the sorrow deeply inside my heart and sleep wt it.next morning just wake up and lock uneasy feelin inside.
life change so much...i'll do wat ever it takes to ensure i'll strive in ths life.either people might saying tht im become heartless,feelingless or wat ever lah..I dunt care cz im the one who deal wt ths life.

takbir raya d hospital

2010-11-17T06:12:00.000-08:00

selamt hari raya aidil adha semua..best kah?ada berkorban apa2? i did korban jiwa dan raga today..kerja 7 hari seminggu membuatkan diri lupa hari dan lupa cuti2 umum..jd perasaan hari ne tidak lah meronta2 bnyk mana pun p kerja..cuma yes wear casual..cool..pagi2 ndak rasa apa2..bgn mandi dan rushing p hospital yg mana 3 mint jak pun smpi..well bila sampai tempat parking tu heran ehh bnyk juga yg berbaju melayu ne..errr alamak terdengar takbir raya yg sgt merdu..uisshh dari masjid d hosp ne lah..adeh2..sebak pulak jd nya..di buatkan cerita pulak..rupanya2 masjid tu sebelah my ward jak pun..lagi lah celar deh..dengar kutbah sambil2 clarkin patient dah updatate case notes..walaweh..hari ne kerja ok lah..ndak lah seteruk mana pun.dengan nasib yg menyebelahi diri yes dpt balik hald day..kalau ada mana2 mo lain yg puashat ate esok mati lah lyn..well rasanya no hal lah..pray hard :)
mkn tengah hari d town bersama chombi..beraya rendang ayam kedai lah kami,, :)
balik rumah zzzz..wah tidru petg nikmat nya..gila boleh jd coma oh..
beberapa hari ne kerja memang mcm shitz..b a gurl@ women memang susah..lagi2 kerja d environment yg penuh gan gurls..damn ..jelously maigh arise anytime..gila2..jd dr memang boleh jd gila hanya kerja org2 d bawah itu mengila atrau meroyan ndak tentu pasal..dengan nasib sebagai ho ne kena sbr jak lah ..kasi menang jak dorang semua tu..tebalkan hati..hati sudah hampir beku.sesunggunya tuhan itu lagi adil..org2 yg terainaya doa nya mungkin akan jd antara yg tip top d atas list ..hehehhe
well i treasure my day and hope i could be a good dr sumday,,evenho kadang2 rasa give up..rasa bosan hanya kerja non stop 7days in a row..aissshhh..
jgn lah bercita2 menjd dr..atau pun mau anak kamu jd dr..kerja lain lah..:)

luahan hati ho baru.

cheers

weekend

2010-11-13T03:25:00.000-08:00

yay kerja patutnya 7 till 10pm..sabtu hari bermula dengan sesuatu yg tidak lah indah tidak lah teruk..cuma damn sikit..but it covered up whn i m able to escape from hell a bit..berjaya melarikan diri jam 2.30pm.wow satu pencapaian terhebat,,mengambil kesempatan ke atm machine, ke giant,apply astro dan juga berjaya melepak2 d secrete reciepe..well nasib baik lah ndak terjumpa dengan mo lain//hahahhaha
so far life up and down..and bla2..bla2..nothg last forever..so fuck it!!ahahhahah
enjoy ur day..

hope i'll be able to update anytg again soon

wat a life

2010-11-11T02:53:00.000-08:00

kalau boleh kasi masuk ne kan bunyi2 background ne confrm mau kasi masuk..engan buyi2 bayi menangis..uweek2..aiseh alwz make me wonder bah where am i now???gosh im at hospital and im working..shitz..working life for ths first 1 month with workin hour 7am till up to 10.00pm really wonderful!!gooooossssh!!!wth..yes memang betul jadi dr jadi bodoh..jgn lah kasi anak2 kamu jd dr..seriously medical school and in practice kinda 2 diff things..babs...wasting my 6years of life!bukan lah terus2 semua ndak ada kaitan..but lagi bnyk yg pelik2.. :)). first 1week an a half life just ok ok..nw slightly depressed to be at nicu ward..shitzz i hates those cases..hates those pre mature baby and etc2..arrghhhh..well well mau jd dr pakar juga mengambil masa yg lama..kena jadi kuli dulu oh!!damn it~~

well im still alife crying so far once jak ..not yet under depression..baby2 kalian sila lah besarkan urat2 darah kamu ya supaya ndak lama lag mau menyucuk2 oky~make my life easy baby..

entry sebelum berkhidmat

2010-10-23T07:56:00.000-07:00

tuan2 dah puan..saya akan bermula berkhidmat d sandkan di Duches of Kent hospital. Hidup terasa gelap.dunia pun samar2 bila dpt surat tawaran!!menangis pun sudah..tekanan pun sudah..sejak balik dari PD jumaat semlm..memang semua jd mcm semcm.uhuk2..skrg sudah pun di kk..isnin lapor dii d JKN,thn selasa d sandakan..tidak berminat utk mengulas lgi lanjut.
dah kemungkinan tidak akan dpt update blog ne sekerap2 nya ya..hidup akan berubah!! :(

doakan semuanya

demi berkhidmat

packing

2010-10-15T09:16:00.000-07:00

prgghhhh!!ndak pernah2 selama ne susah gila mau fikir bju apa dan apa yg mahu d packing!tapi kali ne utk p induksi d PD my head just burst out!t shirt pun mau yg berkoler kah ?ade2..formal2 ne memang killing me juga..aisshhhh i need do more shopping lah ne..ok hope got budget n time lah for all ths.tp d mana ya? suggestion utk shopping d kl for formal2 nyer baju lah!But i saw few pics frm my frnd yg currently berinduksi d Pd juga..wah mereka tidak guna baju berkoler2 itu pun..ok set esok akan tukar few baju berkoler kepada yg lebih relaxing!!hehehehe.
entry yg sgt bosan kan?kerna saya berada dlm mood bosan!

enjoy ur day everyone

menghitung hari

2010-10-14T00:38:00.000-07:00

hari ini bgn awal jam 10am..yes awal lah kan..opss seblm tu bgn jam 7am sudah atas perintah menolong ajar my bro buat homework math!!arggghh otak beku pagi2..semlm ndak mau buat!!cis~~panasaran aku jadi nya OK!nasib sekolah mula jam 8am..if sekolah biasa mcm mana lah ko ne dik oi!thn smbung zzzz balik!emmmm ndak lama lagi sudah mau mula induksi dan kerja..bgn awal bermula..otak kena berfungi seawal 6.30am..bagai mana kah!!shittttt..takut nya.
td tengh hari p lunch wt my mom..ala2 pas ne susah sudah mau cm ne.uhuk2...sob~`kurang lah sudah lah aktiviti berpeleseran mcm org yg memang tiada kerja..aisssehh..susah suda mau pakai seluar pendek jln2 tengh hari ne..aisehh...gonna miss my long2 break holiday!!

Love letter

2010-10-12T03:33:00.000-07:00

today is my lazy day until i got phone call from my buddy Maslyn to go for yam cha!yes i like!!i feel excited chit chating abt pre wedding preparation opss not mine for sure her wedding lah.i just found out that its not cheep ya to oder photographer for the wedding even Labuan standard alrdy average frm 600rm to 1600rm..aiseh..if I am good enough sure i will hlp my friend one!but im damn immature!even my dad having so many lens plus D90 body.aiseh!
well wondering abt my Love letter?its not an invitation card from maslyn, BUT it is such an invitation from Jbtn latihan for my induction as HO.shitz....im nt ready i was expecting it to be sumwhr early nov..WHY? So early bloody hell!i need more time!!time to ..to do wat ever!!aaaaaaaargghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!dislike it!!

Stop Child abuse

2010-10-12T03:24:00.000-07:00

Im glad to knw there is such campaign in Malaysia.YES we do really need it to rise self awareness regarding the importance for us ( parents, teacher,youngster and etc ) to understand that even Kids have their right!If there is anyone who wants to take place in this campaign u may refer it at nuffnag advertisement.

wott..woot..

2010-10-11T09:10:00.000-07:00

weekend escape!escape to brunei for few days jer pun atas urusan paksa rela..menjd driver kereta sebesar ala2 van memang memenatkan..eventho itu ada lah alphad yg auto gear ya.tapi best lah juga kan..at least dpt jln2 sama family dah jumpa keluarga2 di berunai ( jika notice ini ada lah ejaan kegemaran saya wlpn pun tidak ngam sama sekali mahupun dua kali!!).

walaupun masa terhad tapi sempat juga bershopping2an sedikit..wlpn tiada $$$..kerna saya ada atm bergerak!saya menjadi jatuh minat sama itu tudung2an yg org berunai suka pakai..waduh..very glamour dgn cara mereka tersendiri.i bought 4 of them..sgt tamak!! dan td juga satu lagi tudung anting2 sampai kedepan rumah saya.ala2..poyo jak lebih mau beli tudung..emmm well at least ada tudung kan..

perjalanan prgi semasa dan balik di berunai adalah OK..dengan sesat sikit itu normal! gmbr2 blm terupload..nnti ya!

balik2 saja td mlm sudah pi dinner..ala2 rindu kah tu org with me..:P

now duduk2 atas katil smbil2 update blog dan pikir2 mls mau unpack!

cheers everyone!

pagi yg delema

2010-10-07T20:28:00.000-07:00

bgn2 pagi..opss blm bgn lagi sudah mcm2 happening..pot pet..pot pet from my mom!well used to it,if not gonna miss it for sure!nagging me to do ths and tht lah, well its very rare for me to sumthg before 12noon.let me enjoy my super ~~beauty~~ leading to ugly -ness sleep, before i started work and gonna be in sleeping time trouble.its OK now having over dosage of sleeping hour.bekalan hari tua before kerja,before get married and living wit ur man n myb with mom in low which tht time required me to be an angle as my man alwz said to me!even tho even we dunt knw either we will get to tht level..jodoh,ajal dan maut tiada siapa yg tahu!
opss climax story nyer: i hates to go berunai tomorw!!shit.i dunt mind to go and more thn happy if its not clashing with my gurl wedding.but they using word of " I HAVE TOO"..gosh tak cukup driver lah! wat else worry if sumday family sana ndak akan dtg for my wedding!!well lame.i dunt knw hw to tell amy..but yes i will tel her either after nikah or tonite..sob2.ok nw hv to go,time real pack!mau mandi,iron baju,bibik nada sudah!,mau prepare camera,mau ready2 stuff for tomrw since i knw i wont hv time tonite!!

jam berbunyi..tik tok..tik tok

2010-10-07T06:54:00.000-07:00

bunyi jam semakin kuat!!jm rosak kah?or ear drum ne yg rosak!!alamak..bukan lah coz amy mau kawin sudah..kwn baik dari sekolah lagi..semalam pi merayau2 ke rumah bakal pengantin ne..sempat tengok itu pre wed punya adat berbedak..myb melayu berunai and org2 d sekitar sini jak yg ada adat ne.but it sumthing good u knw..memutihkan diri.hhehehe..tiap kali ada saja kwn2 sekolah yg gettin married sure rasa detik2 jam itu semakin kuat.its gonna be my first time attending real closed frnds wedding.all ths while i was away and wasnt able to join the great moments in their life.i feel so much happy for their happiness.its not easy to fine tru love and right guy! pencapai cemerlang ne~~hehehehe..soon nxt month maslyn my other real gurl frnd will gettin married too.wah everyone leaving me behind.life sound so empty now..SCARED!
But still hv few other gurl frdns who having almst the same principle of life aka masih finding a right pathway of life.last few days i ws having a conversation regarding ths matter with him @ bf , how not ready we are since we still finding real feelin and still dlm situasi penyesuaian diri after been away for ths past 3 years.aiseh we seems dunt even can imagine and org bilang seruan masih blm ada!even if according surrounding kami memang di psycho oleh ramai org!one of his good frnd will gettin married soon as well ..gonna hv bachelor party ths weekend.auchh!! well pray for my real happiness ya my friend :)

acara menghiris2

hasil tangan saya

poyo smbil bekerja

amy!!

at last!!

2010-10-06T02:02:00.000-07:00

yay!yesterday was most tiring day that involving my room deco thinging.well dont expect too much as i am immature in decoration stuff. But 90% of all ths work done by myself alone.it was my first time painting and i dunt expect it to be perfect but cukup2 mkn lah kan..

persiapan sblm mula painting

dinding seblm di cat

muka sblm jd buruh kasar

ini sblm lapisan ke 2..memang tidak cantik kan..

ini hasil selps cat lapisan ke 2 dan setelah siap drill pasang rak2 itu

more thgs has to b done but pelan2 sikit..penat

my babies..

2010-10-04T11:08:00.000-07:00

mereka sudah hampir 1 bulan 7hb ne.esok pagi baru mau check jantina.before ne berpantang tidak angkat kucing.tdk bgs utk kesihatan mereka.

sgt pandai posing

masih L lagi berjln

mummy " i wanna sing a song!" hahahhahaa

"opss my eyes is my key to make u buying me more toys mummy"

semua ini anak checqa..sayang nya satu mati yg serupa mcm checqa.kini checqa mengambil rawatan utk mengemuk kan diri kembali..dah juga botox..hehhe ;) mereka ada lah penghibur hati ku.tp malangnya hearty jd takut dengan babies ini..cian

my lst few days

2010-10-04T10:16:00.000-07:00

done!

birthday party : but birthday boy tiada d pic ne.hehee

sedap kek ne,teringat starwberry d russia

bersama team kawi d kk for malaysia open dart competition

top 4 out of 94 team..proud to be his friend..hehe

menyokong team ini dengan jaya dan bangganya

it was on the 1st till 3rd okt

surat cinta apa kah ini?ini lah surat2 dahulu kala yg berusia lebih 10thn aporx abt 11 years.pen pall..wah how come terputus contact ne.i was so funny bila d fikir2 kan.dulu2 tak ada sms..tp email kan ada..tapi masih juga bersurat2..but the value sgt berharga ..

ini ada lah keadaan bilik yg mcm tongkang pecah selama mengemas d atas kehadiran katil baru itu

ini alamri baru itu..yg sudah berusia 2 minggu lebih kurang

ini lampu dan kati baru itu

opss ada c hearty pulak sana..( gmbar di atas sekali td totally not my room.but myb ths room akan transform lagi.or at least new house in future.

ini pulak kad2 raya yg juga berusia 11thn.dari effalin dan tee yee ween my x class mate.im glad tht we do still keep in touch.form 4 yeen ween pindah p penang dan masih juga rajin hntr kad raya for me.one thing i feel sad coz rupa2nya i never able sending cny card to her..semua i just tulis tp ndak terpos2.bersalah ne!tp we berjaya tercontact balik tru fb..promise my self will get her address and will send her some card.omg i miss my old scholl time.ini lah antara kerja2 sort out thgs bagi org2 yg bercuti panjang ini.

salingan cerita

kini dlm dilema kerna juga ada invitation kawin d berunai.my closed family..and semua org pergi.dah dengan kuasa veto nya i hv to be a driver for one car..ayoo rombongan cik kiah ne..i was tot just to ctach them up on sunday..since majlis ptg dan mlm..so kira2 p weddin amy dulu..will rethink abt it tomorw again..

DiGi iPhone 4 Life

2010-10-01T09:00:00.000-07:00

Get a life with DiGi iPhone 4 and live with it that what my mission for. As i mention earlier i'll gonna start my houseman ship aka internship course as a fresh graduated doctor so soon and its gonna be real tough life for me.Some might saying it as beginning of death life and NO life.It does make me under pressure and unmotivated to work in Malaysia BUT i still do believ there is a way to get my life back to track with DiGi iPhone. I could safe my ass ( sorry for my language but its true ) while working, minimizing mistake and get my self updated with medical software provided by iPhone 4. A tone of games application is one of the anti-stress therapy and yes it good for us to keep our emotion under control and same goes to our health state.DiGi iPhone 4 is leading us towards a better healthy in modern Life style!

DiGi iPhone 4 Real

2010-09-28T09:13:00.001-07:00

DiGi offering the best plain for iPhone 4.There are 3 different plain that offering by DiGi such as iDigi 88, iDiGi 138 and iDiGi 238. I am prefer iDiGi 88, which for me it the most valuable plain.Only RM 58 monthly up to 24 months contract what a huge saving!! monthly free usage such as 200min voice call, 200 sms, 20mms, 1Gb internet.Lowest rate monthly usage only 15sen/min,10sen for sms, and 20sen for mms.Believe it or not no extra charges after reaching the monthly quato so FREE from unexpected bill statement.FREE calls,sms and mms up to 6 suppliment numbers.Cheaper call,sms and mms up to 6 numbers for friends and family.All sound so promising and great.Why pay more if there is great bargain in town from DiGI? iDiGi 88 plain is what suite me the most and the best value for money and iPhone 4. Love DiGI!!

DiG iPhone 4 Play

2010-09-26T22:16:00.000-07:00

What gadget that would always stick on your hand?? I am pretty sure that most people would says PHONE@ HAND PHONE!! Without phone aka hand phone I would feel there is some thing in complete and my head will be in mess. Yet I would tend to browse around either my dad nor friend's iPhone. Poor me just using Window phone.I like Installious application on iPhone. I wont call it as an iPhone without this Installious application. Installious application is one application to download almost everything even my medical e books and medical application could be downloaded easily from there. Life getting easier and towards perfection with all the application that offer by iPhone..say thank you to iPhone!!

Digi iPhone 4 Play

DiGi IPhone 4Me

2010-09-25T00:35:00.000-07:00

What are hot news on earth right now DiGi launching a long awaited I phone 4 in Malaysia.I feel it just a right time for me since i'll start working as HO ( houseman officer ) aka fresh graduate doctor approximately around mid Oktober. Wondering why i need an I phone 4? Currently Im am using windows phone and hardly to get medical software and its kinda expensive to prescribe, such a waste for me.I found out more and more medical software for I Phone 4 are available now , on top of it all I need just click on my finger tip download it directly and all matter solve.It sound great,look great and for sure its awesome!! I phone 4 could make my intensive training as Houseman Officer less stressful since work load and working hours will be just unbelievable hilarious !! I phone 4 you will be my Saviour, my reference and my LOVE ~~ I Phone 4 will not only gonna serve and save me but as well my future patient. Thank you DiGi for launching and promoting your 1 phone among nuffnag 'reader and blogger.

LOVE DiGi

konsep 1 malaysia

2010-09-24T08:58:00.000-07:00

konsep satu malaysia memang satu yg bunyi mcm syok!!mcm mantap..semua org mau mengunakan konsep itu untuk bermcm2 program lah..contoh terbesar konsert satu siti..uweek ndak muntah dengar..satu siti ekk?kaya pun siti satu jak lah..im not a big fan of siti and at the same time tidak jua benci sgt..ok ok..so no offence siti it just a reality of ths konsep 1 malaysia..pengertian belum tentu semua org faham..org atasan pun belum tentu faham sgt..objective and subjective utk konsep ne mostly on paper jer ler lebih..harap2 idea ini tidak di salah ertikan..bukan anti 1 malaysia..pengertian dan pengisian juga semakin kucar kacir.contoh terdekat iklan tv 3 bab raya tht day bertapa lah hilang pedoman..bukan tidak suka pembahuran..it a great idea but certain issue just cant b mixed up in a wrong direction beb..taksub dengan 1 malaysia sampi merosakan minda..tidak kah mereka tahu media massa ada lah pengaruh terhebat kepada minda kanak2..korang ne conffrm tak tengok the arrival ne kan.hw disneyworld catoon dah artis2 d hollywood boleh mempengaruhi minda kita hari ne..
konsep satu malaysia idea yg bgs cuma blm mencapai tahap sebanar..dah org2 yg melaksanakn program2 yg berkaitan kononnya kebannyakannya hanya untuk meraut keuntungan!!haahahahha..well idea ini hanya setakat sembang2 d waktu hujan.ehehhehe..

Rancangan tergendala seketika

2010-09-24T00:41:00.000-07:00

3pm dengan cuaca panas keluar pergi terminal ferry membeli ticket kereta utuk ahad ne..malang sudah berpanas dan berpeluh2 ticket ferry jam 130pm hbs lah pulak..ada pagi dan jam 4.30pm jak..sgt lah pasti mesti ada punya lagi jam 1.30pm tu..call up my dad,my bro and even shibu..none of them picking up my call..shitz..after few attempt my dad pick up his phone bt due to his bzness his dunt bother malah d marah pulak ada lah..call up mr shibu gosh hw can he sleep by ths hour ( 3.20pm)..oh curi tulang yer..so so so i just drive bck home and thn only able to reach my bro..sudah otw balik mls mau patah balik beli ticket 4.30pm..alamak itu ferry kecik saja lah...emmm since we will be bck togthr on sunday as plaining..seems to be cancel lah dulu.sudah d rumah dah megupdate blog ne..so biar hantu2 saja lah kemas rumah d sana.i hope there is people who gonna hlp arranging transport my bed back to labuan!
sudah mula berasa bosan duduk d rumah now!!i thk better go kl and sleep whole day and nite there while waiting for induction~~

perancangan seorang penganggur

2010-09-23T05:19:00.000-07:00

di seketika menjadi seorang penganggur berjaya ini mcm2 di dlm fikirkan.opss bukan apa yg mahu d buat sebagai penganggur..tapi apa yg plain nnti once sudah menjadi buruh kasar hospital kerajaan..idea@ hasrat untuk menyewa rumah d kk telah d batalkan untuk seketika.ada lah lebih baik mengumpulkan 1krm ech month for few months thn later deposit beli aparment/ rumah..esok lusa boleh d sewakan..so sementara ini tinggal merempat jak lah d rumah my sis nana or my aunty house d kk..bukan teda rumah d kk.berlambak2..
so next plain sunday ne p kk, kemas rumah sana, memspace kan sebnyk yg mungkin, sediakan apa yg patut insysaalh ada peruntukan..kira2 mau cat rumah d sana juga lah..and selasa depan insyalh dptlah membawa balik katil dari kk ke labuan guna lori..insyallh..

yg selebihnya ndak ada idea mau buat apa.hehehhe..

Singapore

2010-09-22T07:04:00.000-07:00

recently i heard a lot about Singapore..most of my friend talking about singapore, and on the last 16th september one of my friend travelling to Singapore just to go to the Disneyland studio..ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh i wanna go there too..perhaps by end of the year ya insyallh..nuffnag as well advertise about Singapore lets check it here :more about Singapore..

sex and the city 2

2010-09-22T06:57:00.000-07:00

sudah tengok kah??best oh..hehehehe ..memang life somtimes could be that way..be ready..
sebenarnya ndak ada idea untuk update hari ne..lets share here few picture sepanjang raya :

with my sex and the city gurl

with michelle

with aefa and her lovely daughter

on the 16th sept

was my dad,and my 2 brothers birthday

conclusion : raya wasnt tht bad.. :)

drama ray

2010-09-18T22:00:00.000-07:00

raya tahun ne ndak lah mcm yg d jangkakan..not all my family around..and too much drama since morning 1st day of raya..bad hint doh. not happening like how i left it 6 years ago..mayb matter of age ya..sudah getting older so ndak lah mcm kanak2 dulu ya.

but masih juga happy lah dpt celebrate it with old good frnds back in school..catching up wit them really mean a lot..few of them alrdy gettin married,having children and goin tru motherhood life..sharing a real story of parenting really scary and tough..made me think 99x abt marriage..well in fact blm ada calon sebenar lagi pun..bercinta pun bnyk surut dari yg pasang..ini kan lagi marriage..when one party so ego ..it make thgs gettin harder.bullshit all ths.im admiring my parents and those parents tht stay together after sooo long..

i dunt think i'll be able to tru all ths..i m prefer my life now even there is sorrow sumwhere but there is a way to heal it.im lookin forward to start workin but at the same time im scared too..

bila dugaan itu terlalu sukar

2010-09-17T13:10:00.000-07:00

agree when ppl said " idup umpana roda..kejap d atas,kejap d bawah" mean idup itu ada mcm2 cubaa lah kan..sumtimes we might feel tht our life just almost perfect and just nice..but once it down..rasa mcm 5 mcm .till to the extend unsure either to laugh or to cry on it. sumtimes feel so scared abt life and future..will i be able success?can i b sumone sumday?can i tru all ths life?once i almost can see sumthg for my life there is sumthg else comin up..kadang2 tu terasa dugaan itu tidak akan mengenal erti "enough is enough"..sudah lah dugaan itu semua hampir sama..shitzz org bilang..what is wrong wt all ths? till to the extend feel tired..esp after tryin so hard to normalize ths life.and balancing all elements. i pray to Allah S.W.T to replace all ths sorrow to wealthy tht inssyallh will wait me ahead.so i can sumwhere far far away to continue study or work..amin

hw i wish when i wake up tomorrow it already past abt 3-5 years ..

08/09/2010

2010-09-07T19:55:00.000-07:00

wow for the first time since jd pengagngur im writing and updating my blog entry Early morning..( bukan tengah pagi tp 10am ++ gitu)..my kitten woke me up..and on top of it there is bunch of thgs awaiting for me to be done..sigh!

so wat ur plan for today my lovely reader and friends?wat p shopping?ikut ehhh..im sure everyone must be doing last2 mint raya preparation and etc2.alamak semlm lupa mau update lah..my Checqa sudah selamat melahirkan semlm 07/09/2010 ..if hari ne pun kan lawa tarikh nya..ala2..ada 4 anak ..wah banyak nya..1 first delivery dulu anak jak..oh worried if checqa will be stress rising up 4 kitties..:) color nyer juga cute.ada warna grey few tompok2 and ada warna brown2 few tompok..tp blm clear lagi lah tengok anak checqa..excited!!im kitties granny now..tua nyer ..well im happy for it :)

alamak baju raya kucing blm beli lah :P

pre raya entry..

2010-09-07T12:07:00.000-07:00

gosh i keep on missing ya rite after become official " penganggur " .ada kah hidup sebagai penganggur ini lebih bz berbanding mejadi medic student?hard to answer..bila bz baru lagi suka membz2 masa ya..
most of my friend getting bored while waiting to start working, emm bt its not happening to me at all..im not looking forwards to start working!! BUT at the same time i need $$$..so for a mean time im spending my time to travel around kk and kl..most of the time ada purpose tersendiri..menyelam sambil minum air..helping my dad and doing other freelance thinging which also cuma utk my family members..well i enjoyed it so much!

my room make over still dlm process.memandangkan tuan punya diri yg hilang entah kemana2 kan.well few basic thgs sudah lama d beli d ikea..lampu gantung itu sungguh tak sbr mau tunggu d pasang oleh my dad.kipas bila mau tukar ahh?nnti lah itu nnti..

divan@ katil ala2 d hotel itu juga sudah d beli.cuma msih tersadai d kk.pas raya nnti cari lori tumpang utk d bawa p labuan..tema putih telah bertukar menjadi dark blue@ black and red. coz its hard to get perfect white d kk apa tah lagi d labuan.nvm next time tema itu akan d penuhi.

sementara org bz beraya dan membersihkan rumah utk raya.saya pulak sibuk mencari almari baju.tidak mau build in lah.tidak sbr mau tunggu dan kos nya juga tidak berbaloi untuk bilik comel ini..insyallh next time rumah lain yg akan memastikan bilik lyn seperti futsal court.:)thank to my dad yg melayan karenah saya hari ne..thnx kerana menjadi penaja.LOVE U dad and mom ( even mom bising2 coz i menyemak di hari2 mau raya ne)
statement yg paliang lawak of the day from my dad " engko sibuk2 mau beli skrg ne napa?beraya d bilik kah?" hahhaha but yet u still layan me.. :)

dad cepatin deh belikan cat bilik ne..ndak sbr mau tukar warna ne!

p/s : di sini ingin mengucapkan selamat hari raya in advace.

cheers

im still alive

2010-08-19T17:00:00.000-07:00

sorry for missing in action for ths past few weeks i guess even more thn a month kali ahh..i was unable to update due to few reason : such as loggin problem, was bz menjadi pengangur @ jobless, was in kl for my graduation ( emmm it was on the 24th and d kl frm 22 till 29th july..emm yup mls update time d kl coz i was lazying around myself there..
30th july pulak d kk..urgent!!penganggur ini juga ada urgent..personal urgency plus plus bored to be in Labuan!!yet mls mau update loggin prob as well..kasi masuk passwrd betul2 pun masih salah juga.mampus lah!!i dunt thk so ppl care if not upadate my blog either. :P
emm bila pulak balik labuan?emm lupa lah..myb around 7th august kot balik labuan..hv a great reason to b in labuan tht day..ada szue may balik labuan...yer ker?hehhehe kira ok lah juga tu..memang plain mau balik pun..patut nya balik kk few days after balik labuan!!tapi ndak jd coz sudah terlalu mls pulak mau travelling berterusan..pramugari pun ada cuti pas fly on duty kan..so do i!!ceh..
so semasa d labuan pulak..memang sungguh berjaya my aggur!!gila punya berjaya..tidur makan..tidur makan..tidur makan AND SICK!!tht a big reason babe! All med seems dosent work!ok leave it biar kan immune system bekerja sendiri..pengaggur tidak memerlukan MC..trying to hlp my dad bussiness indirectly and giving service to anyone who need my hlp..free lance lah kunun kan..dealing with thgs i never do before sound interesting.well no profit yet!!! eeee there is charity thinging emm actually menyampaikan bantuan nyer prorgram yg patut d attend 23rd ne d Dorset Hotel Labuan wakil for my family ..emm sorry ler yer masih tidak yakin .on top of it ill b in kk by tht time..:P

today im updating my blog early in mornin and entry sound sooo bored!!byk sgt tulis coz blast frm all my missing entry selama ne..hehehe..today isnyallh i ll b in kk..and drive my little car for a first time out frm labuan..test power dulu..

registration with MMC malaysian medical council on process..borang sudah hntr..insyallh semua ok..SPA lagi mau follow up..KKM will settle in kk..isnyallh

im still alive

2010-07-27T21:06:00.000-07:00

currently in in kl..will fly bck to labuan tomorw morning flight..relaxin my mind and body here..catchin up with my old2 good gurlfriend just made my day..never tot tht most of us facing alomst similiar story in ths life..tht y we are friends i guess..well im sure all of us deserved better life and ...its make me change my mind to work in kl..aisehh..

activity yg sudah d buat : small shoppin..walkin around..window shoppin..relaxin at home, ctachun up and gossiping wth my gurls..eat and eat..and eat..soon will diet ya :P

well tht all for now..im updating via digi broadband and fyi skrg dlm kereta..hehe.. :)

bad n bed day

2010-07-20T22:02:00.000-07:00

my blog might sound fck up from now and onwards..for how long no body knws.since it one of my therapy so pls jgn ada mana2 yg tersinggung or apa2 lah..if taksuka jgn baca..
im sure tht everyone went tru sumtg hard..sadness..sorrow and etc.so myb its wat im going tru now.so bila melalui mesti tak sbr mau end the sorrow.but sumtimes we forgot tht it actually cant be forgotten..sumhow it may remain deeply sumwhr in our mind@ heart.itu ada lah process healing.
itu lah kan tidak ada apa yg sempurna dan tiada ada yg kekal..yg hidup pasti akan pergi ..yg idup pun pandai berubah2..jd victim memang ndak best..best if kita yg menyebabkan sesuatu yg buruk itu..rasa mcm headacche pun ada..rasa mcm jd mls pun ada..rasa mcm2..mixed up.

btw i pray for the best

di antara dua darjat..

2010-07-19T02:37:00.000-07:00

process membaik pulih cardiosclerosis memang mcm2 therapy kena buat..kesabaran juga ada lah salah satu yg di pescribe..yg tidak ada di pharmacy.now adays i managed to control my anger..yay..that y now im bloigging to throw away all the sadness..i dunt need ppl to understand coz im lazy to xplain.so never boder to ask..just wait and c..i keep all my curiosity my anger..my sadness deeply in my heart..and i hope it wont become toxic inside my body system.i just wann be more more positive and stonger externally n internally.i understand now tht life is not easy and can become so so so so cruel.dont be afraid of it..semua kesusahan itu kerna Tuhan tahu bahawa kita mampu melaluinya..terimalah apa2 cobaan itu sebagai satu anugerah yg akan mendewasakan kita..

re think..

2010-07-18T21:06:00.000-07:00

now bnyk benda yg d fikir..yg d fikirkan berulang2 kali..shitz ok its not easy to begin sumthg and not easy to begin new life..now im think i wanna work sumwhere else instead of malaysia..d mana tu nnti lah kasi tau ..emmmm so now kena lah pelan cari info kan..well i hope wt ever the best itu lah yg akan d lalui..:) skrg ne kan rasa mau ajar tution pun ada..mau jd pembaca berita tv3 pun ada.astaga..my head sudah tidak stable..utk jd tutor memang ndak susah.ada tranning center sendiri kan.tapi mostly itu untk baitulmal student..paymentt jak belm sure.tp..ok will gv a try..company sendiri kan..hhahaha..i will charged more :P

sony lagi

2010-07-18T07:24:00.000-07:00

i thk its true to say my faith with sony so so so so for real..ada dlm entry yg lalu cerita pasal sony kan..Tx5 sony..yg waterproof tu..hehhe..time graduation tu my mom pulak bawa tx1..gold color..cun lah juga.tapi kenapa lah pulak dia beli tx1..emmmmm..bt of coz yg lebih2 guna mesti lah me lah..heheheh..but ada cerita sedih lah pulak pasal ne..tp yes TX1 awsome ..
but TX5 sudah pun berada di sini..with me..purple color..yes2..love it..belum lagi ada kesempatan mau explore hbs camera ne.but for sure mau try betul2 dlm air ne..hehehhe..cooooool :)

archivment sepanjang cuti2 tidak bergaji

2010-07-17T07:00:00.000-07:00

ok rasa sudah mula2 gelisah d labuan..dan resah kerana cuaca yg sot2..tidak suka panas dan juga tidak suka hujan yg berlebihan yg d ikuti dengan dentuman guruh yg amat scary..menganggu kualiti memandu d malam hari sepanjang ketiadaan Mr s...
but i can feel the diff this time..feel happy able to catch up wit my old2 good friends..and yes they are alwz my friends..i wont feel ths labuan so so so empty like before. :P great..thnx to maslyn, michelle,amy,nana hong, joanita,baby,and siapa2 lagi lah yg tidak tesebut ne..as long as we keep in touch its more thn enough for me :) love it..lepaking..spending times to do nothing here in labuan so so so so meaningful for me..esp jumpa geng utk melepak lagi :) hehehheeheh

mr s lama lagi balik ne..ayyaaa....make my self bz so i wont really realize hw slow the times flies actually :)

now im looking for any part time job tht dosent required much time, energy and flexible..like home tutor and prefer mathematic for primary school :)

my room baru siap restructured and buang2 few thgs..belum siap lagi..will be cont later saja lah..esp bab2 painting the wall tu kan.. :) dlm end of the month lah..ir rajin lagi before p kl ne buang few stuff lagi :)

again and again

2010-07-08T08:10:00.000-07:00

tadi ter tengok lah pulak lagi movie confession of a shoperhollic.i guess it my 4th time wathching it..heheheh love this movie.lady in green scarf masih mampu kasi menangis and membazir my air mata utk movie ne..so sweet bah!!heheheh..kan best kalau dpt bf yg mcm mr brandon tu..org selalu ckp kan relationship is betwwen 2 diff person with completly diff background, interest and etc2..myb ada lah sama2 sikitkan..tht y it needs an effort to work it out.hw if its kinda very hard to xpln the other patry wat we need from his side?emmmm..kalau other party tu jenis selamba thp gaban pun kan susah juga tau..yg susah may faham thgs in silent..emmmmm melalut pulak sudah ne kan..well everyone enjoy thursday night ..esok jumaat sudah..

cheers

lidut@ lambat

2010-07-07T23:48:00.000-07:00

sir (speel it right) ada tengok kah d tv..Sgt best..mecabar minda sendiri juga..bgs2 utk budak2..tapi itu bukan topic utama hari ne.topic nya ia lah sehari sepatah kata..since im from labuan..so kami pun ada dialec tersendiri..ayat2 pelik kamus dewan bahasa labuan..hhhheh sama mcm org2 sarawak ada bm sarawak sendiri..kuala terengganu,kelantan dan lain2 negeri lagi juga ada dialec masing2 kan.
so ayat hari ini lidut atau juga bertebiat .yg membawa maksud lambat @ melengah-lengahkan sesuatu contoh ayat : 1. kenapa bah ko ani lidut banar membuat keraja? = kenapa kamu ne sgt lambat@ melengah2kan kerja ne?( lebih kurang mcm tuy lah yer)
2.bertebiat jua ko ne bersiap= lambat juga kamu ne bersiap..

teringat kan ayat lidut ne hari ne coz i just relazie hw lidut iam to clear up my room..im expecting on the 16th july dpt sudah cat dinding bilik ne..

today sudah mula bosan..dan ala2 benci nya my love mau fly sudah..i'll be more2 bored.. ok ok yg penting jgn lupa bawa sony vaio ne p dubai yer...emmmmm dan jgn lupa list2 utk d shopping later..less stressful ths time coz i'll be away too later....so so so basically we wil landed together lah balik labuan ya.:P

so jgn lupa ulang kaji ayat oif the day..
click2 on my nuff too ya

Relaxing day

2010-07-07T10:41:00.000-07:00

opss i was missing in action..wasnt able to update my blogs..was too bz relaxing my mind. :)

my kittens hearty and orev still in quarantin and they are stay healthy..sedih hati ne tiap kali kasi tinggal after visiting..hope they find there..misssssssss u both :)

today ( 7/7/2010) was kinda relaxing day even i hv to wake up morning with heavy sleepy head..semua gara2 world cup ya..ayoo..tengh hari hantar kereta p cuci..p shampoo..p foot spa..yg tidak d rancang dan p facial..wahhh thn malam p main pool dan improve sudah kunun nya ..sungguh menyegarkan..cuma sayang nya may first d labuan sudah tutup pulak..kira mau p check it up lah mana tau ada program2 yg menarik..pening kepala memikirkan slim world yg cuma ada d kk tiada d labuan ne..emmm oh my mr Dear..can u pls consider im still OK wit S size.. :p well well well yes mau maintain tapi diet tak ada..damn it lah..tak mau jadi baloon..statement yg mengerunkan when he said tht if body mcm ne skrg..few years later kan..emm lagi2 after giving birth kan..abis lah jd mcm balloon..shitz..this is shitzz.. :P menakutkan ahhh tapi masih juga p makan saja kan :P

cheers every one

package 3 h 2m d pulau labuan

2010-07-03T01:13:00.000-07:00

sudden package tidak di rancang d labuan..and i was unregisted tour guide yg baru jak balik less thn a week n masih2 lupa2 lagi jln d bndr labuan yg sbg besar itu..hehehehhrhrh semua ini gara2 mummy yen and his one come down to my small island..it was great day whille they were around..

antara activity meriah ; round2 labuan yg besar itu..berpanas d memorial park.night2 life..karaoke ..lepak2 makan..after almost 10months plus ndak jumpa..of coz rindu sama mandakz2 ne..soon will join the HO CLUB in kk..:)

btw masih dlm mood mls2 menupdate blog..btw will try my very best to update

cheers everyone

unsettle thgs

2010-06-30T20:33:00.000-07:00

i feel like i dont have time either for myself nor to accomplish my thgs.still not done unpack my stuff.still my room just look the same..i will do at least sumtg today..no matter how..hehehe
im damn lazy to drive now adays.bt my works seems like part time driver..bawa mama beli itu ini lah..whoch most of them brg2 my grandma yg perlu d beli..haruskah beli hari2?baik kita borong kedai2 d labuan ne..org gaji d rumah sana tu memang org gaji bertuah..pemls..masak pun mls..kemas pun ala kadar..beli brg p kedai pun ndak mau..baik kamu ndak payah kerja..

im started getting bored here..its a bad sign for me..i guess i should continue my mission to transform my room becoming transformer room.ayooo...today gonna be another day which will make my head twisted 360 degree..even tho im jobless now it dosent mean i have notg to do..bunch of bored thgs awaiting for me..buekkk...

i wish all ths extra exazerating thgs will over soon..amin

hatii berbunga2

2010-06-29T18:44:00.000-07:00

kenapa kah hati berbungga tat kala confrm jd penganggur tidak bergaji skrg ne?hehehheheh dengan cuaca panas and hujan ..hati tetap berbungga..wlpn dlm hati masih lagi sesak dengan unpack yg tidak pandai hbs2.coz rasa nya mau clear my room first before hbs kan semua unpack..sakit mata memandang bilik comel ne yg penuh dengan brg2..ayooo tu lah kan beli brg ndak tengok2..heheh but yet tetap happy.baju baru yg d oder selama dlm temph 6 -9 bulan memang bnyk.heheh happy2..belum lagi dengan beg collection yg d bawa balik dari russia and yg memang baru d angkut balik dari bercuti2 russia..dan dengan present dari my love one and my dad memang able to make me smile mcm iklan moooo dulu2..hehehhe

kasut lagi belum sampai rumah ne..ala cepat lah sampai..and my kitten lagi blm selamat balik msia..faster2 cheqa waiting for u guys here..:)

currently my head keep on thinging ayoooo how lah to work later..mls nyer..mahu goyang kaki saja..thinking of how can i get money to pay tax for my car..aprox around 40k rm plus..uhuk2..derma2 ah sikit yer

plan for today jd driver @ supir to my mom

p/s : ada story2 panas mau kongsi sikit saya sangt panas sama org ne yg kira2 alim tapi sama saja pun pakai tudung kalau kasi2 tunjuk juga ur hair and aurat sama yg bukan muhrim jgn mau act like u alim gila okey..( tidak d tujukan kepada org2 yg baru mau start2 pakai tudung lah..coz i thk if i juga yg mau mula guna akan jd mcm tu juga ) tapi kes ini kepada yg all ths while mcm2 alim tahap dewa and act like one..but infact bikin panas saja.

tapi itu saja mau kasi panas cerita hari ne coz skrg sejuk skit hujan

cheers

fever bola

2010-06-28T12:47:00.000-07:00

memang tak best tengok bola pagi2 buta ne..skrg ne rindu terngok bola d russia coz timing ws just nice.ptg and paling lmbt pun jam 10pm..huhu..brazil punya pasal i still awake now for them..uhuhukk..so far score 2-0..great..

tonight was a great night ...dating after 10 months apart feel sooooooo different..hhehehe..mengengada..;p
sgt rindu selama ne sampaui ndak berenti pot pet pot pet..evento s lil bit ssd coz next month he will leaving to india and dubai for a lil while but be cool...coz nw im here for good.if last time he will never fly anywhere if im around..but this time is for mamali's weeding ( his friend)...so just let him go..and on top of it boleh pas kan sonyvaio cute moleh ne utk d touch up d dubai,..hehhee....

p/s : attn time tengah tiping2 ne minit ke 59 brazil scor lagi gol ke 3..great..hehehhehe

ok lah everyone..keep on wacthing fifa world cup but jgn sampai jatuh sakit atau stress..hehehhe...

cheers

masih lagi timing russia..:P

2010-06-28T03:53:00.000-07:00

sudah dlm 2 hari d lbn..hari2 bgn awal..mcm mana mau berehat ne..bgn awal coz baby2 menjerit d rumah my grandma..binggit..d rumah pulak bgn jam 6am ..ayoo hntr my lil bro school.emmm wat a great day..yet my head masih binggung2 mau masuk tidur pun susah2..
so far yet my head so sleepy..

so far my day memang tak ada apa2..tidur tengh hari..bgn ptg p clinic..round2 kereta baru..hehhehe..overall i like to feel free this day :)

Home sweet Home

2010-06-27T08:45:00.000-07:00

safely landed in labuan on the 26th june 2010 around 9.20pm..the feeling was sooo different when i just hthat im home forgood now..on the way bck all the way during the flight i was keep on thinging how thgs gonna be..how it will feel like..and im ready for the worst..:) but so far im happy for evertg.eventho right after landed has to go to my grandma house and stay there..but it so worth.sambutan kecil2lan tapi half of my important family memebers was there..thank u every one..love the flower..and doa hajat and doa tolak bala harap di makbulkan..a few days ago sumthing bad was happend at my grandma house..but as long as everyone safe it wat more important :) amin

big suprise on the next day after my arrival was really2 touch me..thnk my dear for the flower,cake and the lovely prresent..love it ..muaxx..muaxx..muaxxx..

and another big suprise from my dad..heheheh really touch by tht..love the Car..really comfort ..:)

ucapan2 selamat kemabli dari kawan2 lain juga amat d hargai :)

p/s : will update abt my last trip soon..

fast entry..

2010-06-15T16:49:00.000-07:00

16th june 2010
0338
nikitskaya street

Still awake just to update my blogs..wow..not really actually..i just done cooking nasi beryani and ayam goreng for bekalan tengah hari esp for my parents and my lil bro..they will landed in moscow aprox around 2.20pm local time.yay..cant wait for it..i feel lonely ths few days when other parents are alrdy arrived while my parents masih lagi belum2 muncul tiba..but bgs juga lah i can settle my uni thiging and all my interview dengan tenang..i found out tht every day waking up early and going out and settle all thgs..damn it!!but yes end up all thgs done..just have to wait for the graduation~happy2 day..another thgs tht made my day today was : yes my name entitle to get an certificate as one of the most active and successful student in sports ( perasan)..hahahha well i dunt get the Dean list..far away from it anyway... :)) and another thg : was having great early dinner with my lovely2 futsal mate ..love u all gurls..hope there is another opportunity again for us to meet up again and kicking the ball!!YAY!

okey will write more abt my past interview ..but overall it was OK Easy..Luck was really on my side :))

doakan semoga journey dan segala2 nya selamat..

cheers

Extremly bad day

2010-06-13T12:43:00.000-07:00

my mission to send my kitten back FAIL..stupid Thai airways..stupid bangkok- kl connection..damn it..7 kittens stranded today. petty thm..sudah lah cuaca panas kan.few hours trying to figure out things..and to sort it out..calling there n there..even till get an small orientation about how the warehouse a cargo procedure and etc..i guess Mr Igor just tried to kill some times..so so so so sad u knw..btw still hoppung for 18th june..bt few thgins has to redo like renew the export permit..get notary for petition ( coz guna via org lain untuk hantar kucing for declaration in moscow nnti).kena ada Notary u knw..plus copy passport plus CTC.damn leceh kan.dengan hampanya balik lah ke kursk..

too much of cabaran and benda2 yg tak betul jd hari ne.form small things to medium to big2 things..so so so feed up..antara beberapa yg menyakitkan ate dan menabahkan ke susahan urusan di sini when i just get to knw tht actually my parents gonna landed in moscow on the 16th instead of 15th..astaga..yg beli and booked ticket ne memang makan telur bnyk sgt!!dah ckp lama dari dulu kan 15th from KL..MEAN 15TH JUNE JAM 2AM FLIGHT..BUKAN 15TH JUNE JAM 5AM FROM LAiBUAN....~~omg geram2..geram2..mean less thn in kursk for them..rushing day for my graduation..rushing for packing...and rushing to leave kursk for next destination..kenapa kah org yg pandai ne lagi bijak sana ne buat tikect mcm ne!!marah and sedih yg sampai nangis okey..just too tired to figure out another plain..since my kitten thinging unsettle..buat notary and export permit bukan benda yg indah!! sungguh sakit2 ate.berusahalah kamu semua settle kan hal ticket ne..esok pagi jgn lupa confrm kan..TU LAH KAN DEGIL ORG KATA BIAR JER ORG BUAT SENDIRI GUNA AGENCY YG KENAL AND LAGI CEKAP..NAK BUAT HARAP ORG KAT OFFICE TU SENDIRI..JD NYA KAN..JDNYAKAN BUAT SALAH!!SALAH FEMAHAMAN ADA LAH KERNA MAKAN TALUL BANYAK SGT.

org2 yg suka buat sakit ate pun membuatkan ate and mencari2 sakit ate hari ne..bodoh sial!!memang rasa mcm ndak jd demam semua benda goes wrong..bodoh okey!!memang marah tahap dewa..sudah lama tidak marah ne..esok interview apa jd pun jd lah..tak kuasa mau baca apa2..mampus lah..

for those yg mencari pasal and mengada2 tu kan i wish your day esok akan jd most hilarious day in ur life!serious shitz