NeVer be Ready

never be ready?


obviously im not ready to end my first sem as final med student..coz day by day my desired for reading just be in critical level..
getting doubt do i can do it..the weather and environment just so chalenging..wintter really make my barin froze and lazy to get up frm my bed and the comforter just so so lovely esp early in the morning!!damnn
never be ready to b an independent gurl..opss yes im still a gurl but not a little gurl any more and not yet a women.turning 25 years old this year 2010 seeems just a matter of no and not more thn day.
luckily my friend around here in russia just same as me who never realized abt our age coz obviously spending 6yearars just to get a medical degree just make us feel like we in high school insted of uni life~~heehhehhe..
not yet ready to b in another level of relationnship coz : graduate pun belum....kerja pun belum..duit pun tak ada..and on top of it..belum puas dengan kehidupan..


so far im thinking of skip the HO n continue my post graduate study..anyone any idea where ( which country/ which uni should i go?)..will it be a good idea? which shcoolarship pogram should i apply to?
im expecting PG ( POST GRAD) study abt 3 years...myb in O&G ( obstetric and gynecology)..any of my fellow friend pls do let me if u guys have any idea or info abt ths PG thinging..

Apa kah pengertian kehidupan?

sebagai manusia ini apa kah yg sebenarnya kita inginkan d dunia ini?
ada kah perlu d bahagikan kepada sub2 mengikut kepentingan?well no idea actually
apa kah makna sebenar kebahagian?adakah sekadar cukup lah ada keluarga yg lengkap : father,mother,siblings,etc
apa kah parameter yg d gunakan utk mengukur nya?rasanya tiada ..
tapi jika d tanya ada kah org mahu jadi miskin?hina?emm i dunt thk so..emm apa pulak jika d tanya ada kah org mahu kaya?and d sanjungi?
berapa ramai akan berkata tidak mahu kaya..tidak mahu jd d sanjungi?/ kaya and tak perlu d sanjungi/ 
tiada siapa yg akan pernah berasa cukup dengan apa yg d miliki hari sini selagi tidak tahu bersyukur. ini hanya lah renungan.


inferior complex just circulate tru all my vessel and nerve..y? myb to public to xpln..kerna itu lah saya tahu bahwa bukan mudah utk tahu bersyukur.
sesungguh nya tidak sabar utk menunggu kan saat d mana sudah bisa berdiri d kaki sendiri and melalui hidup ini dari bawah hingga ke tahap yg d impikan.tapi mampukah/ bisakah lalui kehidupan yg sukar itu
permulaan kehidupan sendiri sentiasa mencabar..takut maknanya belum ready.:) tapi rasanya bersusah2 skrg bersenang2 kemudian itu betul..eeee..sakit kepala..sakit perut and sakit hati pun ada jika fikirkan semua ne~
keindahan kehidupan selagi bukan dari hasil sendiri sama rasa seperti berhutang..sama sreperti loan yg bayar installment.:) bagai mana mahu membayar jasa and pengorbanan itu?semoga kejayaan ini dan segulung ijazah ini akan sedikit membayar 10% of pengorbanan / loan tak berbayar kepada  mereka yg d kenali sebagai "keluarga" :)


lihat lah diri ku kerna aku..
bukan kerana kulit ku,
bukan kerna warna rambut ku,


terima lah aku seadanya,
sebagai teman,
sebagai kawan,
hanya kerna kamu memerlukan aku.


tiada warna ,
tiada corak ,
tiada apa,
hanya ada pengertian
pengertian kehidupan,
kehidupan yg ada pasang dan surutnya.


coretan ini hanya kerna ia coretan yg ikhlas


xoxo

YeAr 2009 cLOSING aCCount

i just feel like gain back my energy to write here...what should i write first my  year 2009 conclsuion or my new year story?
well i guess i shuld make a closing for year 2009 1st.
i feel year 2009 fly so fast ..really2 fast..coz it seems like the day i celebrate new year 2009 back in Uk just a few  months back ago.but the fact its alrdy 12months ago~~wow..

janury2009: celebrating new year around UK...nothingham,bermingham,manchester and london
thn fly back to malaysia celebrating my cousion afiq "s big day

febuary: started my 2nd semester 5th year..i guess nthg much important tht day..rather thn i was saying bye2 to all my lovely friend mummy yen and chombi as them bck to msia for good~~mau jd dr sudah tu time tu

march: nothg interesting..all same old story

april : Volgo games intervasity among malaysian student around russia..well yay..my team won gold medal for futsal..wat a great revange after bad story a year before..well all are happend for reason

may: atra times..to clear all miss classes..

june: xm mode..xm time..and 19th june i guess i alrdy flew off to msia ...cant really remember!!

july/august: summer break + attachment at Queen Elizebeth kk,Sabah..it was great oliday even tho most of my time still away from my love and family~~yay!!



september : month tht i wont be happy wit coz it a month tht i hav to fly bck to russia!!every time the fellin dosent feel good..it more thn sour and worst thn bitter~~but this time i dunt hv so much pressure coz i knw insyallh itwill be the  finale one!!
and wat im in final year alrdy??wah tak percayanya

okt/nov/: all same story again

dec: emmmm same all same...my birthday and gettin older~~thnx for the big present frm my family..well no boday wanna uplod the pic for me..nvm..
and end of year 31st dec was sumwhere in moscow ...:))


conclusion : i dunt really feel like it end of 2009..it just so relaxing year for me~~even there were up and down..bt its normal..

Tired to the max

today after so long i feel so tired,which i myself cant even resist abt it.after futsal tranning it just seems like i cant even standing i just wanna lie down..hw bad it was..i was supposed to buy stuff fot tomorrow makan2..but end up i decided to go home first and at least rest few mints or at lest send my sport beg and thn go out again..but it just unbelievable i straight away laying down on the floor with tht thin blanket and srazu fall asleep..damn...+ headache and fever..asiihhh it so shitty ok..so mean all my plain gone~~ i thk i wont b able to baked cheese cake!

my love hearty alrdy home..after 5days witout my hearty..uhuhuhu..btw thanx to anuty dathy who was taking care of my little hearty~~

well im still tired

cerita2 moscow trip nnti jer lah yer.

cheers

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010