begin to hates to be at home

i hates working hour..i hates to be on call..i hates everytime im at home after working..i just cant bare with all ths situation.kinda tired.tired i cant appreciate things..its so hurting when u are actually counting on urself to change things.i dunt want to have bipolar personality.i wanna be come like other ppl..who happy and having normal life.if i have and option to specifically to make tht person understand and feel wat im true even its gonna cost half of my life i would do it.
im so sorry to write ths such stupid boring entry but i jst cant hlp my self.this is the only way to express it out,as i knw nt much ppl reading my bloody blog.i m helpless ..so helpless so so so so helpless.im sick of it..if can cry 24h and let it go for ever...why all bad thgs alwz happen when im having big thgs to do..